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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24872839">Talk Me Down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/andreaxjulia/pseuds/andreaxjulia'>andreaxjulia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Simon (2018), Love Victor (TV 2020), Simonverse</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Best Friends to Lovers, M/M, This is a velix endgame, but Vengi is good too yknow...., don’t be upset with the Vengi content in this fic, felix comforts Victor, i won’t tolerate hate, slowburn, this is right after the last episode</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:01:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>23,862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24872839</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/andreaxjulia/pseuds/andreaxjulia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Coming out to his parents doesn’t go the way Victor hoped. After getting kicked out, Victor goes to Felix and realizes something he’s not at all ready to accept</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Velix, Vengi - Relationship, Victor Salazar/ Benji Campbell, Victor Salazar/Felix Weston, Victor/Felix, victor/benji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>106</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>181</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Victors world froze as soon as those two words left his mouth. His heart was pounding against his chest — so loud he could hardly hear himself think. He didn't realize he was holding his breath until his lungs were burning inside him. He let out a shaky breath, trying to read his families expressions, waiting for them to say something — anything.</p><p>"Mom... dad?" he finally croaked out. "Say something...."</p><p>"No," his father finally said.</p><p>"What?" Victor asked, eyeing his mom and dad. Their expression was still unreadable.</p><p>"No," his father repeated, shaking his head. "You're not... that way."</p><p>Victor looked to his mom, eyes wide and glassy with tears that threatened to spill. His gaze was begging.</p><p>"But Mia..." she said.</p><p>"I... I thought I could be... I thought I could make myself..." Victor shook his head. "I don't like her like that. I-I thought that I could.... b-but I just.. I can't."</p><p>"I can't pretend anymore," Victor continued. "It's tearing me apart to not be myself. And I tried to fight it but there is no fighting this. I am gay."</p><p>"No," his dad repeated, standing to his feet.</p><p>"Dad.."</p><p>"Armando," his mother said, reaching out for her husband.</p><p>"I can't do this," Armando said.</p><p>"Dad, please," Victor begged, tears now slipping from his eyes. "I'm still me..."</p><p>"But you're not," he said. "Not to me."</p><p>Victor stared, dumbfounded, after his father who disappeared into his room. He looked back between his mother and sister, his expression desperate. "I... I'm still Victor..."</p><p>"I think... we just need some time," Isabel said, standing to her feet. "Maybe... maybe you should stay with Felix..."</p><p>"Mom...?"</p><p>"Just a few days, Victor," Isabel said, disappearing to her room with his father.</p><p>Victor slowly turned to his sister. "Pil—"</p><p>She stood to her feet, shoulder checking Victor on her way to her room. Victor stood there, numb for a few moments as he relived that moment, again and again until the reality set in.</p><p>After packing a small bag of clothes and throwing his school stuff in his backpack, Victor made his way out of the apartment. He paused for a moment, contemplating on where to actually go, before deciding and heading up stairs.</p><p>He stood at Felix's door, contemplating knocking, for five minutes before he heard Felix's voice behind him.</p><p>"Victor?"</p><p>Victor turned around, eyes red and puffy and cheeks wet with tears, facing Felix still in a tux. He was quick to rush to his friends side upon seeing Victors state, holding onto his arms.</p><p>"Have you been crying?" Felix asked. "Did Pilar-"</p><p>"I told my family," Victor said.</p><p>Felix looked confused for a minute, until his eyes landed on the bags Victor had.</p><p>"I don't know where else to go..."</p><p>"Oh Victor." Felix pulled Victor into a tight embrace, like the one he pulled him into the morning Victor came out to him.</p><p>It had been a great comfort then, just like it was now. Victor wrapped his arms around Felix, melting into the comfort of his embrace.</p><hr/><p>"Sorry about the mess," Felix said as they entered his room.</p><p>The house itself had been messy, not that Victor was in any place to truly notice, but Felix's room was not messy in the slightest.</p><p>"You can set your bags anywhere," Felix said, sitting on the edge of his bed.</p><p>Victor set his bags by the door, numbly taking off his blazer.</p><p>"Hey I'm going to shower do you need anything?" Felix asked.</p><p>Victor shook his head in response.</p><p>"Make yourself at home Victor," Felix said. He hesitated by the door of his bathroom, contemplating saying something, but ultimately decided against it.</p><p>While Felix showered, Victor got into pajamas and curled up on Felix's bed. He stared at the wall, thinking over everything that had happened just in that night.</p><p>He had kissed Benji... again, broke Mia's heart, told his parents he was gay and got kicked out of his house for.. who knows how long. He screwed everything up. And he knew it would feel better later - being true to himself. But he couldn't help but feel like crap in that moment.</p><p>He eventually pulled out his phone, opened his messages and sent a text to Bram and Simon. Nothing wordy this time, just four simple words.</p><p>
  <em>'I got kicked out'</em>
</p><p>When he set his phone down and rolled back over, Felix jumped into the bed with Victor, lying to face him. For a while, the two boys just stared at one another until Victor finally found his voice.</p><p>"I keep managing to fuck things up," Victor said. "No matter how hard I try to be perfect... I can never do anything right."</p><p>"Hey, Victor, don't do that," Felix said. "Don't blame yourself for this —"</p><p>"There's no one else to blame, Felix," Victor said. "I broke Mia's heart, I'm the one who kept this a secret for so long and I —"</p><p>"Seriously, Victor," Felix said, sternly cutting him off. "Do not blame yourself for how others react to this. Mia will get over it and as for you keeping it a secret — it's yours to tell Victor. And you were figuring it out so please. Do not blame yourself."</p><p>"It's hard not to..."</p><p>"I know." Felix placed his hand on Victors. "But it really isn't your fault."</p><p>"Thank you Felix..." Victor whispered after some time passed. "For letting me stay and... and for just being such a great friend to me."</p><p>Felix shrugged against the bed as if to say 'no problem.' "It's not like I have a bunch of people lining up to be my friend so... the position was open."</p><p>"Their loss," Victor said, smiling faintly.</p><p>“You’re parents really kicked you out?” Felix asked, disbelief written on his face.</p><p>Victor sighed, his smile fading as he glanced past Felix, staring at the wall instead. “My mom said just for a few days.... my dad wouldn’t even look at me....”</p><p>“And Pilar?”</p><p>Victor shrugged. “I don’t know if she’s just mad I kept this a secret, if the news is too much on top of our parents separating or.... y’know...”</p><p>“You’re parents are separating?! Today is not your day,” Felix said.</p><p>Victor chuckled, looking back at Felix. “Tell me about it.”</p><p>“Well you’re welcome here as long as you need, Victor,” Felix said. “I mean it.”</p><p>Victor smiled, staring deep into Felix’s eyes. He felt like he could stay there forever — lying beside Felix like that, their hands connected and —</p><p>Victor’s heart pounded against his chest suddenly and unexpectedly. He slowly took his hand out from under Felix’s, hugging it closer to his chest.</p><p>“Benji kissed me,” Victor said abruptly. “He broke up with Derek... we’re kind of a thing now.”</p><p>Felix stared back at Victor, silent for a moment as he slowly blinked before smiling. “Someone moved on quickly.”</p><p>Victor let out a short chuckle, guilt slowly creeping in for more than just one reason. “Yeah... so at least one good thing happened to me tonight.”</p><p>“You deserve it Victor,” Felix said, his smile almost forced. “You deserve all the good things to happen to you.”</p><p>Victor wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He stared at Felix in awe until he smiled and said, “Good night Victor,” and rolled over.</p><p>Victor didn’t get much sleep that night, his mind running a mile a minute on every major life event that just occurred, but mainly, his mind would turn back to the boy lying next to him. Eventually he fell asleep, thoughts of his best friend calming him off the ledge of a mental break down.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I really never intended for this to be a chapter fic but a lot of you wanted me to continue so... I’m going to try and continue with this and make it a real fanfic! I hope y’all like it, I don’t really have a clear direction but we’ll see where it goes!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Victor woke up to his phone vibrating on the night stand. He was quick to grab it as Felix shifted in the bed at the sound. It wasn't until he was in the living room that he answered the call.</p><p>"Hello?"</p><p>"Victor? It's Simon and Bram," Simon said from the other end of the line. </p><p>"Are you doing okay Victor?" Bram asked. "Did you get a place to sleep?"</p><p>"Yeah," Victor said, rubbing the back of his neck. For a moment, he had forgotten about the night before. "Yeah I'm with Felix."</p><p>"That's good," Simon breathed out. "I thought you were going to wait until today?"</p><p>Victor sighed. "The night did not go as planned..."</p><p>He then proceeded to tell the two what happened last night. About Andrew hearing Benji and Victor talking, about Pilar finding the note, about kissing Benji again and Mia finding out. About his parents separating and how he came out to his family and their reaction. Victor was pacing the whole time he spoke.</p><p>"I just.... Everything is so messed up right now," Victor said with a sigh. "I don't know how I ruined everything in such a short amount time..."</p><p>"It can feel like when you first come out," Simon said. "Like you've ruined everything. But you haven't. You made a few mistakes but none of them have to do with you deciding to be yourself."</p><p>"I want to fix things," Victor said. "And I don't know how..."</p><p>"Maybe you should start with Mia," Bram said. "Explain to her everything and let her know none of this has anything to do with her."</p><p>"You think she'll listen to me?"</p><p>"Doesn't hurt to try," Simon said. "As for your family, that'll come naturally."</p><p>"And if they don't come around," Bram added. "That's their loss."</p><p>"I just don't know if I can handle loosing them," Victor mumbled.</p><p>"I know," Bram said. "But you have Felix and Benji, and us. We can be your new family if you need one."</p><p>"We are your family," Simon said.</p><p>Victor smiled. "Thanks guys," he said. "I needed that."</p><p>"Anytime Victor," Simon said. "And if you ever need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call."</p><p>Victor nodded. "Thank you."</p><p>"We'll talk to you later okay?" Bram said.</p><p>"Okay," Victor said.</p><p>They said goodbyes and then Victor was alone isn't Felix's living room. He took deep breath in, then got himself ready for the day. Felix was still asleep by the time Victor finished getting ready so Victor took the opportunity to make the Westons breakfast. He wasn't sure if Ms. Weston knew Victor was staying so he tried to be as quiet as possible.</p><p>Felix finally stumbled into the kitchen right as Victor finished cooking the last pancake. He smiled at the sight of Felix and his messy bed head.</p><p>"Morning," Victor said. "I didn't know kind of pancakes you and your mom liked so I made chocolate, banana and plain."</p><p>"You didn't have to do all this Victor," Felix said, sitting at the bar stools.</p><p>Victor shrugged, leaning over the kitchen counter and sliding his friend a plate. "You're giving me a home so, I wanted to. As a thank you."</p><p>"Thank you," Felix said, digging into the pancakes.</p><p>"I Uh... I'm going to swing by Mia's today," Victor said.</p><p>"I thought you said she wouldn't talk to you," Felix asked, mouth full of pancakes.</p><p>"Well... she wouldn't last night," Victor said. "But I have to explain it to her. I need her to know that I never intended to break her heart."</p><p>Felix nodded, taking a long sip of apple juice. "I was thinking of getting some snacks on my grocery trip today, do you want anything?"</p><p>"I'm not picky," Victor said, glancing around the house for Felix's mom.</p><p>"Okay I'll just get one of everything," Felix said. "I was also thinking we could do a movie night? I have a copy of The Goonies with our names on it."</p><p>Victor smiled widely, nodding in response. "The Goonies sounds amazing."</p><p>Felix beamed brightly. "Perfect! I'll get pizza."</p><p>"Sounds like a plan," Victor said. "I'll be back."</p><p>"Looking forward to it!" Felix called back.</p><p>Victor smiled to himself, glancing back at Felix as he continued stuffing his face with pancakes. He finally looked away from his friend when his phone vibrated in his pocket, seeing a message from Benji.</p><p>
  <em>'Hey Victor, I just wanted to check on you after last night, did you tell your family?’</em>
</p><p>Victor hesitated in responding, not wanting to bother Benji in the beginning of their relationship — if that’s what they were even in. He sighed, typing out a quick response.</p><p>
  <em>‘I did. It went fine 👍🏼’</em>
</p><p>Then he was out the door, walking down the stairs to his families floor. He hesitated by their apartment, listening to the faint sounds of yelling behind the door. He couldn’t hear exactly what the arguing was about, but there were a few key words that lead him to believe it was regarding himself.</p><p>Suddenly the door flung open. Victor stumble back as his father marched out of the apartment with a bag in hand. He met Victors gaze before storming off.</p><p>“Dad —“</p><p>Victor sighed, looking back at the now closed apartment door, debating on entering and speaking with his mom. He longed to have her wrap her arms around him and tell him that it would be okay. That he was okay. That it was okay that Victor was gay. His hand hovered over the door knob for a moment, until he decided against it.</p><p>“As for your family, they’ll come around eventually,” Simon’s voice repeated in his head.</p><p>So he turned, and he left.</p><hr/><p>Victor sat in his car outside of Mia’s house, contemplating going in, for several minutes before actually gaining the courage to get of the car. Taking in a deep breath, Victor knocked on the door.</p><p>The next few moments while Victor waited were full of anxiety, doubt and guilt. But finally, Lake opened the door.</p><p>“Victor? What are you doing here?” she asked, her voice lowered.</p><p>“I need to talk to Mia,” he said.</p><p>“I think you’re the last person she wants to talk to right now,” Lake said, crossing her arms over her chest. “And I don’t blame her.”</p><p>“I just need to explain things to her. Don’t you think she deserves to know the whole truth?” Victor asked. “I don’t expect her to forgive me. But if there’s any chance that I can... unbreak her heart. I’m going to try.”</p><p>Lake sighed, glancing away from Victor before looking back at him. “Only because she deserves to know the truth and because Felix would kill me if I didn’t try to help.”</p><p>Victor muttered a thank you, slipping into the house as Lake shut the door. “She’s in her room.”</p><p>He went upstairs, following the usual path to Mia’s room. The door was open, but he still knocked on the door before entering.</p><p>Mia sat up on her bed, her face turning into a scowl upon seeing Victor, adding to his guilt.</p><p>“Why are you here Victor?” Mia asked, voice full of anger.</p><p>“I want to explain everything to you,” Victor said. “You deserve to hear the whole story.”</p><p>“I know the whole story,” Mia snapped. “You.. used me!”</p><p>“No!” Victor lunged closer to Mia, stopping at the edge of her bed. “No. That isn’t the case at all!”</p><p>“So you’re not gay?” she asked, her face telling him she already knew the answer.</p><p>“I... well... yes. I-I am,” Victor said, eyes glued to the ground. “But I just figured it out. I thought... maybe I was bi. And I like you, Mia. I really do. And I tried so hard to... to be normal and to feel the way I was suppose to feel with you but I....”</p><p>“You just didn’t...” Mia said. “You should have told me, Victor.”</p><p>“I... I know,” he said. “I was just so scared of hurting you... I was going to tell you after the dance. I didn’t expect last night to go the way it did.”</p><p>“Me either,” Mia snapped. “How long have you and Benji.... been together.”</p><p>“We haven’t,” he said quickly, finally meeting her gaze. “We just kissed — that’s all.”</p><p>“All of this new, Mia,” Victor continued. “I promise it wasn’t my intention to hurt you or use you and I’m so sorry I made you feel this way.”</p><p>Mia nodded, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “I can’t really be mad at you... but I don’t think we can be friends... not right now at least.”</p><p>Victor sucked in a breath, nodding slowly. “I get it...” he mumbled. “I’m so sorry Mia.”</p><p>When she didn’t respond, Victor took it as his cue to leave, shutting her door behind him. Lake was standing by the door as he exited. Her eyes were more empathetic than before.</p><p>“She’ll come around,” Lake said, giving a half- closed lip smile.</p><p>“I keep hearing that about everyone lately,” Victor mumbled, walking past Lake to leave Mia’s house.</p><p>Once back in his car, Victor let out a groan, punching his steering wheel a few times as his anger, guilt and desperation became too much to bare. After getting his aggression out on the steering wheel, Victor collapsed in on himself, crying into his steering wheel.</p><p>His phone vibrated in his back pocket as he calmed himself down. It was from Benji.</p><p>
  <em>‘That’s great! I was thinking, if you have tomorrow off we could go on a real date?’</em>
</p><p>Victor wiped the tears from his cheeks, sighing deeply. Maybe going out would give him a nice distraction from everything. </p><p>
  <em>‘That sounds great!</em>
  <em>’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>‘Its a date 🥰 I’ll pick you up at 1?’</em>
</p><p>
  <em>’I’ll meet you outside the complex at 1 ☺️‘ </em>
</p><p>Victor finally smiled, sticking his phone back in his pocket before starting the car, grateful to have Benji in his life.</p><hr/><p>Victor stopped at his apartment again on his way to Felix’s, hesitating before making his way to the Weston’s apartment.</p><p>“Hey!” Felix called, poking his head out from the kitchen. “Perfect timing, I just got home. How’d it go?”</p><p>Victor shrugged. “She still doesn’t want to see me... which I get but she heard me out and I think she understood a little bit.”</p><p>“That’s good!” Felix said. “Not the she doesn’t want to see you part but the other part. That means maybe one day.”</p><p>Victor nodded, sitting himself down at the bar stools. “Hopefully...”</p><p>“Victor... have you been crying?” Felix asked, staring softly at Victor.</p><p>Victor met Felix’s gaze, preparing to come up with some kind of lie to pretend he was fine, but he fell short as his eyes met Felix’s deep brown eyes. They were really nice brown eyes. He realized he could never pretend with Felix.</p><p>“It’s just so hard.” Victors voice cracked as another wave of tears threatened to spill. “Everything y’know... and I still can’t help but feel like it’s all my fault. If I wasn’t... if I didn’t... none of this would have happened..”</p><p>“What would you have done, Victor?” Felix asked. “Stayed in the closest and continued dating Mia?! I’ll tell you what would have happened if you did that: you would have kept everyone around you happy but you would be miserable, Victor. You would spend your whole life pretending to be someone you’re not. And maybe everyone else would be okay, more comfortable, with that — maybe even you would be okay with that. But I would not be okay with that Victor. Because you deserve to be happy and to be yourself and to be with the person that you actually love. It’s not fair for everyone to make you feel like this is your fault. And I won’t stand for it.”</p><p>Victor meditated on Felix’s words, still staring into Felix’s eyes. There was some... undefinable emotion swirling inside of Victor that made him smile. “Thanks,” he said softly. “This is the most serious I’ve ever seen you.”</p><p>“And it stays between us,” Felix said with a smirk. “I’ve got to keep the reputation of the crazy goofball y’know.”</p><p>Victor chuckled. “Lips are sealed.”</p><p>Felix pulled out his pinky. “Pinky promise?”</p><p>Victor let out a laugh, shaking his head as he wrapped his pinky around Felix’s. “Our little secret.”</p><p>“Good,” Felix said, smiling brightly at Victor. “So, pizza and Goonies?”</p><p>“I can’t think of a better way to spend my night,” Victor said, smiling back at Felix.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Simon,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I spoke to Mia yesterday. It wasn't exactly perfect but I think she understood what I was trying to say and that it wasn't my intention to hurt her. I'm still at Felix's and I saw my dad leave the apartment yesterday afternoon with some bags.... I think he left because of me....</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In other news, I'm going on my first date with Benji. I haven't exactly told him about everything.... and I don't know if I will. It's just a lot of pressure to put on the beginning of a relationship, right?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I honestly don't know Simon. It feels like my world is crumbling beneath my feet and the only constant in my life is Felix. I want Benji to be a constant in my life but I don't want to scare him away or stress him out with my own issues. He's been out a while and I'm a few days in — what if I mess everything up by unloading my problems on him? I just want at least one thing to go right for me.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>"More pancakes," Felix said, entering the kitchen and pulling Victors attention away from his message. He quickly hit send, smiling at his best friend. "If this is going to be an everyday sort of thing, you can live with me no matter where we end up."</p><p>Victor gave a short chuckle as he set a plate of pancakes in front of Felix. "I can make crepes too."</p><p>"Oh my god, Victor Salazar. Where have you been all my life?" Felix asked, smirking while bringing a forkful of pancake to his mouth.</p><p>Heat rose to Victors face. He turned around to hide his face, shrugging at Felix's question.</p><p>"Hey I have to head to work at the grocery store," Felix said after downing a few sips of water. "I probably won't be back until later tonight. Will you be okay?"</p><p>Victor nodded. "I actually have plans with Benji today."</p><p>"<em>Oooh</em>," Felix cooed.</p><p>Victor shook his head, amused by Felix's comment. "We're going canoeing."</p><p>"Does he know that you're staying with me?" Felix asked.</p><p>"Uhhh...."</p><p>"Victor!"</p><p>"I don't want to bother him! It's a new... thing," Victor said. "It doesn't need to be dragged down with my family drama."</p><p>"Victor, I know that relationships are new to you," Felix said. "But you're suppose to tell your boyfriend shit like this."</p><p>"I wouldn't... I mean I wouldn't call Benji my <em>boyfriend</em>. We've only kissed.."</p><p>Felix stared at Victor, blinking slowly, trying to comprehend Victors statement. "Let me get this straight: you and Benji have kissed <em>twice</em>, he dumped his boyfriend of <em>one year</em> to be with you and you're casually planning Sunday dates. But you're not boyfriends. Checks out."</p><p>"Okay... when you put it like that... yeah it sounds like we're.... like we're... boyfriends," Victor said. "But we haven't actually made it official."</p><p>"Mmhm." Felix nodded, standing to his feet . "Tell him, Victor."</p><p>"I will," Victor said. "Eventually.."</p><p>Felix shook his head, patting his friends shoulder. "I'll see you tonight, Victor. Talk to your boyfriend."</p><p>"I will!" Victor called as Felix left the house.</p><p>Victor took the next few minutes to clean the mess he made in the kitchens leaving a plate out for Felix's mother. As he turned around to head back to Felix's room, he ran into Mrs. Weston.</p><p>"Oh, hi." Victor smiled. "I Uh... I made some pancakes."</p><p>Mrs. Weston gave a half-hearted smile. "Thank you — Victor, right?"</p><p>Victor nodded. "Sorry this is a... weird circumstance to meet under..."</p><p>"No, it's okay Victor," she said. "Felix filled me in on everything. You're welcome here as long as you need."</p><p>"Thank you," Victor said.</p><p>She nodded. "Where's Felix gone?"</p><p>"Work," Victor responded. "You just missed him."</p><p>A hazey gaze seemed to overcome Mrs. Weston at the mention of Felix working. She just nodded, grabbing the plate of pancakes. "I'm going to take the pancakes to my room, but I look forward to getting to know you Victor."</p><p>"Yeah, you too Mrs. Weston."</p><p>"You can call me Valerie." She smiled, turning and heading to her room.</p><p>Victor finished cleaning the kitchen until his phone dinged with a message from Simon.</p><p>
  <em>Victor,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm glad things went smoothly with Mia but I'm sorry about your family. You shouldn't have to take on the responsibility of your dad leaving and I'm sorry that you feel like it's your fault. From what you've said though, your parents were planning on separating before you even came out. Don't make their marriage problems another burden for you to bare because you already have so much you're carrying.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Victor I understand your need to fix things for others but I think in this case you should either focus on fixing yourself or allow others to help you fix your issues. It's never a burden to those who care about you and trust me, sharing emotional turmoil with someone you care about only helps to grow the relationship.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take you and Felix for example. You guys are inseparable it sounds like. And that's because you tell him things and you trust him with your pain. That is how you create a firm relationship.</em>
</p><p><br/>Victor chewed on his bottom lip, rereading Simons last paragraph a few times over as a mixture of feelings he couldn't quite place washed over him. His train of thought was interrupted, however, by the notification of Benji announcing his arrival. Victor smiled at his phone, grabbing his backpack and heading out of Felix's apartment.</p><p>When he reached the bottom of the stairs he ran into Pilar. He froze, not having planned to run into his family today and unsure how to proceed.</p><p>"Pilar..."</p><p>"I can't do this Victor." She stomped passed Victor, heading outside the complex, Victor following closely behind her.</p><p>"Pilar can you please hear me out," Victor asked, his anxiety spiking the closer they got outside.</p><p>"No, Victor." Pilar continued walking, throwing the door open and leaving the complex. "You lied to me — to all of us!"</p><p>"I didn't lie Pilar — will you just let me talk!"</p><p>Pilar stopped in her tracks, turning and facing Victor. "Dad <em>left</em>, Victor. He left because of <em>you</em>! So do us a favor and just stay with Felix."</p><p>She stormed off then, revealing Benji standing just behind where she had previously stood.</p><p>"I Uh... I don't suppose you didn't hear all of that," Victor croaked out.</p><p>Benji sighed but didn't say anything, he just tossed his keys Victors way. He barely caught them as Benji slid into the passenger side. Victor took a deep breath then made his way to the driver side of Benji's car.</p><p>Victor waited a moment after getting in the car, turning to look at Benji.</p><p>"Benji I—"</p><p>"Are you okay, Victor?" Benji asked, looking back at Victor with an empathetic gaze.</p><p>Victor hesitated, shocked by Benji's question. "I... you're not mad?"</p><p>"Even if I was mad at you — which I'm not — you're hurting and you're sister has just said something truly atrocious to you so why would I even consider making it worse?"</p><p>Victor continued staring at Benji in awe. The shorter boy smiled softly, cupping his hand around Victors cheeks. "If you don't want to talk about it right now, then let's just go canoeing."</p><p>"Benji Campbell... you are far too good for me." Victor gently held onto Benji's arms as their foreheads touched.</p><p>Benji smiled, kissing Victor. "Not even remotely true, Victor Salazar," he said as they parted.</p><p>Benji sat back in his seat, plugging his phone into aux. "Now let's go get our canoe on! I made the perfect playlist for this date."</p><p>"I swear if —"</p><p>Victor was interrupted by the starting cords of Call Me Maybe. Victor groaned, throwing his head back while he started the car, Benji beginning to sing dramatically.</p><p>"You'll never let me live this one down, will you?"</p><p>"Oh never," Benji said. "One day you'll show me that full dance. I'm manifesting it."</p><p>Victor chuckled, shaking his head and starting to drive. "Keep manifesting it but it's not going to happen."</p><p>"Awe come on," Benji whined, interlocking his hand with Victors free hand. "Not even for me."</p><p>Victor glanced at Benji and his damn puppy dog face, quickly looking back at the road.</p><p>"I'll tell you what," Victor said. "You keep manifesting it and maybe one day I'll show the dance."</p><p>"I consider that a win," Benji said, going back to singing along.</p><hr/><p>They paddled for a while along the stream after getting the handle of it. It took a while and a lot of laughs before they got it but once they did, it was smooth paddling. Once they grew tired, they set the oars aside and allowed the canoe to just float on as they talked.</p><p>It was a long before Victor could no longer ignore the emotional turmoil inside him.</p><p>"Hey." Benji tapped Victors thigh with his foot, pulling him out of his haze. "You okay?"</p><p>Victor sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't tell you because..." he shrugged. "I just didn't want our relationship to start off on such a depressing note. I wanted — want — to be the best... boyfriend for you."</p><p>"Boyfriend, huh?" Benji smirked.</p><p>"Or... y'know.... whatever we are." Victor fumbled over his words, blushing under Benji's gaze.</p><p>"Boyfriend is perfect," Benji said sweetly, reaching over to hold Victors hand. "And I understand why you didn't tell me. I just want you to know that I'm here for you."</p><p>Victor met Benji's gaze. "That's what boyfriends are for, Victor."</p><p>Victor smiled and nodded, gnawing on his bottom lip as he debated continuing to talk. "It's just... my parents were going to separate before I came out." He paused a moment. "It's not really my fault that my dad left.... but I'd be lying if I said I don't agree with Pilar...."</p><p>"I get that," Benji said. "But I don't think Pilar agrees with Pilar."</p><p>"What do you... what do you mean?"</p><p>"She seems to be the kind of person to lash out when things get rough," Benji said. "I think she's just stressed about everything changing."</p><p>"Hm," Victor hummed thoughtfully. "So Benji Campbell is both beautiful and intelligent."</p><p>"I can also sing," Benji added, smirking. “I’m a triple threat.”</p><p>Victor chuckled. “Modest too, I see.”</p><p>“All the best people are,” Benji said, smiling flirtatiously.</p><p>“You know..” Benji leaned forward a bit, carefully to assure the canoe didn’t tip. “If we weren’t in this canoe and I wasn’t worried about tipping us over. I’d totally kiss you right now.”</p><p>Victor smiled, blushing fiercely under Benji’s gaze. “Well maybe we should get out of this canoe...”</p><p>“Good idea.” Benji smiled.</p><p>Victor expected for them to canoe their way to a little beach, but instead, Benji leaned forward, kissing Victor and allowing the canoe to tip over and push the two into the water. As soon as they hit the water, Victor pulled away from the kiss, laughing and running his hands through Benji’s now wet hair.</p><p>“Well that was not what I was expecting,” Victor said.</p><p>“What can I say? I just couldn’t wait.” Benji softly stroked Victors cheek, taking his appearance in before kissing Victor again.</p><hr/><p>As soon as Victor left Benji’s presence, his sisters words sunk in, twisting his insides and weighing him down like a cement truck was resting on his shoulders.</p><p>He used the key Felix gave him to get into the apartment and trudged his way to Felix’s room. When he opened the door, he found Felix and Lake making out.</p><p>“Oh god,” he muttered, quickly covering his eyes. He could hear struggling and a thump as someone hit the ground. That twisting feeling inside his gut increasing for some unknown reason. “I’m sorry. I didn’t — I thought you were at work.”</p><p>“You can uncover your eyes Victor,” Lake said. “We’re fully clothed.”</p><p>Victor slowly moved his hand away from his eyes, smiling awkwardly as Felix dusted himself off. “Sorry..”</p><p>“How’d you get in anyway?” Lake asked. “I thought the door was locked.”</p><p>“I kind of live here now...” Victor said. “I have a key.”</p><p>“I find it highly unlikely that Victor Salazar did something bad enough to get out,” Lake said, chuckling slightly at the idea.</p><p>“Lake,” Felix hissed.</p><p>“No, all I had to do was be myself,” Victor mumbled. “I’ll uh... I’ll let you two be — I’ll go for a walk or something.”</p><p>“Victor...”</p><p>Victor turned, leaving the Westons apartment. He made down the stairs to his family’s apartment when Felix caught up to him. “I didn’t tell her because I wasn’t sure if you wanted a lot of people to know. I didn’t want to like... accidentally out you, y’know. But it probably would have been better if I —“</p><p>“Felix.” Victor put a hand on Felix’s shoulder. “I appreciate that. I’m not mad.”</p><p>“No, but you’re upset,” Felix said. “Aren’t you?”</p><p>Victor sighed, looking at his apartment door. Or rather, his old apartment door. He wondered if his mom would ever let him come back. Why else would his father leave? Did they fight about him staying there? And if so, why hadn’t she asked him to come back.</p><p>“I talked to Pilar. She blamed me for dad leaving.</p><p>“Hey.” Felix moved Victor’s face to look at him instead of the apartment. “It isn’t your fault. And I know you, so I know that you already blamed yourself for it without Pilar’s accusation but I also know Pilar and I know that she doesn’t even believe what she said.”</p><p>“You didn’t hear her Felix,” Victor said. “Her voice was filled with hatred... like when she found out mom had been cheating on dad...”</p><p>“And look at them now,” Felix said. “Maybe you just need to remind Pilar that this, unlike the thing with your mom, has nothing to do with her.”</p><p>“Do you really believe that?” Victor asked.</p><p>“Of course!” Felix exclaimed. “This isn’t happening to them—“ he pointed at the apartment door. “It’s happening to you, Victor. Anyone who makes it about them is selfish.”</p><p>“Thanks Felix,” Victor said. “Y’know I can go to Brasstown and work on some homework if you want to be alone with Lake I don’t—“</p><p>“No, no.” Felix threw a loose arm across Victors shoulders, leading him back up the stairs. “Don’t be silly. The last thing I’m going to do right now, is leave you alone.”</p><p>“Hey, I thought you ended things with Lake?” Victor asked.</p><p>“Oh that is quite the story,” Felix said. “I’ll tell you all about it over pizza and an Outer Banks marathon.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I want to say a big thank you for all who are commenting and leaving kudos! It means the world to me. Also, I totally forgot about the whole Benji getting his license suspended thing so I’m just going to keep rolling with Benji driving jamdjsjd. </p><p>Another thing, I’m really glad some of you think I’m writing everyone pretty in character. That’s something I always worry about so I’m glad I’m not going ooc and I hope it stays that way :)</p><p>So this chapter is a tad shorter than the others but I feel like it all works and I hope you all think so too :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Simon,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I told Benji about my family. Technically he found out after witnessing my sister and I fight. I thought he'd be angry about it but... he was kind and patient.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Does Bram ever do something that just... leaves you astonished and wondering what you ever did to deserve someone so amazing? I don't know if I actually deserve Benji, but I'm grateful that he's in my life.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I'm really worried about school today, Simon. I don't know who knows my secret — or what people know about Mia and I. As far as I know, only Felix, Andrew, Mia, Lake, Pilar and Benji know about my secret at this school. I really hope it stays like that. At least for now.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>A pair of arms wrapped around Victor as he hit send on the message. He quickly closed his phone, pulling away the arms and standing to his feet. Benji was smiling from behind the bench Victor was sitting at.</p><p>"Calm down its okay," Benji said walking around the bench. "Just me."</p><p>Victor looked around, assuring no one was around or watching. "What are you doing?"</p><p>Benji's smile slowly faded. "Hugging my boy—"</p><p>"Maybe—" Victor said a bit too loudly and bit too quickly. He composed himself before continuing, smiling as best as he could. "— we hold off on PDA and... and making ourselves public."</p><p>"You don't want to tell people about us...?" Benji asked.</p><p>"Well our friends can know," Victor said. "I just... I don't know if I'm ready for the whole school to know just yet. An-and besides.... I don't want to hurt Mia more than I already have."</p><p>"Okay." Benji stuck his hands in his pockets. "How long are we thinking?"</p><p>Victor shrugged. "A week or two? I know it's a lot to ask — and I'm not ashamed to be dating you Benji. I just... it's a lot at once."</p><p>Benji gnawed on his bottom lip. Victor could tell he was upset and it made him sick to his stomach. Finally he nodded.</p><p>"I get it," he said.</p><p>"You do?" Victor asked, taking a tentative step closer to Benji.</p><p>"Yeah," Benji said. "It was unfair of me to just... assume that you'd be okay with going public right away. Sometimes I forget what it was like when I first came out."</p><p>"So... you're not mad?"</p><p>Benji shook his head. "No, I'm not mad, Victor."</p><p>Feeling as if Benji wasn't being completely honest, Victor opened his mouth to speak, but was stopped before he could start as Felix came by, slinging his arm across Victors shoulders.</p><p>"You will never guess what just happened," Felix said. "Oh... sorry. Am I interrupting something?"</p><p>Benji smiled. "Nope. I should head to class but do you need a ride to work?"</p><p>Victor quickly glanced between Felix and Benji. "Yeah that sounds great."</p><p>"Great." Benji hesitated. As if waiting for Victor to do, or say something. But when he didn't make any moves, Benji left.</p><p>"That was awkward," Felix said. "Trouble in paradise already?"</p><p>"I think he's a little mad that I don't want to be public quite yet," Victor said, walking alongside Felix into the school.</p><p>"You don't want to go public?" Felix asked.</p><p>"I know, it's horrible. I'm pulling a Lake and knowing that I am making him feel the way that Lake made you feel... I just —"</p><p>"Hey, okay, Victor listen to me." Felix stopped in the hallway, gripping Victors arms tightly. "This is nothing like what happened with Lake and I okay? Lake and I are a straight couple and you... well you are just now finding yourself. You can take as long as you need."</p><p>Victor nodded. "Yeah. You're right."</p><p>"Of course I'm right," Felix scoffed. "I'm always right.</p><p>Victor laughed, shaking his head at his friend as they continued down the hallway. Once they got to their first class, Victor sent a quick add-on message to Simon.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I just hope this doesn't effect mine and Benji's relationship. He doesn't seem to be the kind of guy who enjoys hiding things.</em>
</p><hr/><p>Felix sat himself down across from Pilar, his lunch trey hitting the table with a clatter.</p><p>"Someone's moody," Pilar said.</p><p>"I consider it more purposefully intense," Felix said. "Why the hell are you being so rude to Victor."</p><p>"Oh not you too." Pilar rolled her eyes. "I don't want to talk ab—"</p><p>"Well tough!" Felix shouted. A few people around them looked, so Felix took a deep breath and lowered his voice. "Your brother needs you, Pilar. He already blames himself enough as it is without you twisting the knife in his side."</p><p>"And I get that your father leaving is hard for you," he continued, strangely serious and intense. "But it's not Victors fault. Stop thinking about yourself because right now your brother is going through hell and he needs his sister. So maybe you should realize who this is happening to and decide if something like this is worth loosing the only person who has ever been by your side."</p><p>Felix picked up his lunch trey, storming away from Pilar.</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Victor,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m very glad that Benji knows and that he was kind to you about it all. Benji seems like a fantastic guy but Victor, you do deserve someone amazing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I get that feeling — especially after I first came out and we first started dating. Bram is the most amazing guy I have ever known and I’m so incredibly lucky to have him. And although I mess up from time to time, we’re a team and we always work through it, making ourselves stronger in the process.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Take your time coming out to everyone. It’s a process and seeing how your family reacted, it’s normal to need to take a little bit longer to come out publicly. I’m sure Benji will understand that. And if he doesn’t understand that... well just make sure that you don’t put that on yourself Victor.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The best advice I can give is to just be honest with one another. About everything. Especially about feelings.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Victor silently sighed, closing his phone and turning to look at Benji. The drive had been eerily silent and full of Benji’s tension.</p><p>“You’re upset,” Victor said as Benji parked the car in the Brasstown parking lot.</p><p>“Victor I’m not—“</p><p>“You are,” Victor said. “I can tell you are. And I get it. But I can’t be public right now. Not while things with my family are so rocky.”</p><p>“Victor.” Benji turned his body in the driver seat to better face Victor. He leaned forward, cupping Victors cheeks in his hands. “I am not upset or mad at you. It’s going to be hard, because I haven’t had to hide any part of me in a while and because I really wish I could show off my boyfriend. But I get it.”</p><p>“You... you want to show me off?” Victor asked, smiling softly.</p><p>“Look at you Victor,” Benji said. “Of course I want to show you off.”</p><p>“I want to show you off too, Benji,” Victor said. “And soon, we’ll get to.”</p><p>“I’m holding you to that,” Benji said, quickly kissing Victor. “We should get to work before Sara kills us for being late.”</p><p>“Good idea.” Victor kissed Benji one last time before getting out of the car.</p><hr/><p>As soon as Victor stepped out of Benji’s car after work, he saw Pilar sitting on the steps. He shut the passenger door, bringing Pilar’s attention up from the ground and onto him. As soon as she saw him, she stood to her feet. Pilar ran to Victor, throwing her arms around her brother.</p><p>Victor’s eyes suddenly burned with tears as he held on tightly to his sister.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she cried into his shoulder. “I didn’t mean what I said.”</p><p>“I know,” Victor said, now crying as well. “It’s okay, I know.”</p><p>“I’m so proud of you,” Pilar said through tears. Victor closed his eyes, hugging Pilar tighter. “I love you Victor.”</p><p>“I love you too Pilar,” Victor said.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heyooo thank you again for the super kind words!! I never expected this to kick off and get so much traction!! I never even intended on this being a chapter fic but because of all the kind comments I can’t seem to stop writing!!! So I appreciate it a lot! </p><p>I want to give a disclaimer, I don’t hate Lake — I love her so much! I’m not intending on making her a bitch so if she comes off that way, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to keep everyone in character and she can be a bit... brash or intense at times. Also I don’t think she’s good for Felix, I don’t see how they would work. Still, I adore Lake and she gives off lesbian vibes so.... 👀</p><p>But in other news these next few chapters will start becoming more Felix centered so I hope you guys enjoy!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Simon,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Ever since Pilar and I really talked, things have been looking up. I moved back in with my family and though things are still weird between my mom and I, she's finally coming around. It sucks that our relationship isn't the way it was before but I'll take what I can get right now</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I sat down with Adrian and let him know what was happening. I don't think he fully understood why me liking boys was such a big deal, which is great! He’s still my little buddy and I’m glad he either doesn’t understand systematic homophobia or just doesn’t care.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I still haven't spoken with my father. He's spoken to Pilar and Adrian but not me or my mom. I'd be lying if I said I didn't expect him to react this way, which hurts. A lot.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No matter, I finally feel like things are coming along well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Benji and I have been inseparable and he doesn't seem to care too much about staying out of the public with our relationship for now. As you know, the whole school knows about Mia and I breaking up and the buzz of that has finally died down. Even though Benji is cool with everything, I'm anxious that he'll expect us to become public now that everything has died down and I just don't know if I'm ready for that just yet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In other news, I'm really excited for you and Bram to come to town this week for spring break! Coffee at Brasstown tomorrow sounds perfect! Benji will be working but you'll be able to meet him. Felix will be joining us. He is really looking forward to meeting you guys!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Victor hit send, smiling at his phone as he slipped it into his back pocket.</p><p>"So we're meeting up with Bram and Simon at 11 tomorrow?" Felix asked. "What should I wear?"</p><p>"Clothes, would be a good start," Victor said, smirking in Felix's direction.</p><p>"Ha ha, very funny," Felix said. "I'm serious."</p><p>"Felix there's no need to worry your pretty brown eyes about a thing," Victor said. "Just be yourself. Wear what you always wear — they'll love you."</p><p>"These pretty brown eyes have every right to be worried," Felix said. "I'm meeting the gay Jesus — the gay Messiah!! The gayssiah, if you will."</p><p>Victor laughed. "Simon is just a person, Felix."</p><p>"No, Simon is <em>the</em> gayssiah."</p><p>"Do you need a gayssiah?"</p><p>"What? I — n-no, no," Felix said. "I don't need a gayssiah. It's just... t-the idea."</p><p>Victor nodded as Lake swung by, kissing Felix on the cheek and greeting the two boys.</p><p>"I'm going to take this as my cue to leave," Victor said, backing away from the lockers.</p><p>"Victor, you don't have to," Felix said.</p><p>"It's okay," Victor said. "I have to get to class early anyway. I will see you at lunch. Bye Lake."</p><p>"Bye Victor," Lake called. To Felix she said, "so I was thinking that you and I could go on a date tonight? Dress up all nice and have a nice dinner."</p><p>"I would love to but I have plans after work tonight," Felix said. "Victor, my mom and I will be playing Catan. You should come!"</p><p>"To play Catan with your mom and Victor?" Lake asked, a slight hint of distaste in her voice. "Hard pass babe. Maybe dinner tomorrow?"</p><p>"Oh... well I work from 2 until 9," Felix said. "We can go out after?"</p><p>"Perf! Wear your best attire. Think, Micheal B. Jordan." Lake smiled, kissing Felix before running to catch up with Mia, leaving Felix with a small pinching feeling he couldn't quite place. He ignored it, shutting his locker and heading to class as the first bell rang.</p><hr/><p>Victor walked down an empty corridor on his way to lunch. He was starring at his phone, only looking up as he turned a corner, stopping in his tracks as he noticed Mia and Andrew kissing. They seemed to have noticed someone coming as they parted, looking at Victor.</p><p>"Uh... sorry," Victor said.</p><p>"It's okay," Mia said. "We're kind of in the way."</p><p>"So you two are..."</p><p>"Dating," Andrew said. "You can't have a problem with that, right?"</p><p>"Andrew," Mia scolded.</p><p>"Uh... no," Victor said. "No problem."</p><p>Victor continued forward, squeezing past Andrew and down the hallway.</p><p>"Victor! Hey, wait up." Victor stopped, turning to wait for Mia to catch up. "I'm sorry about him. We're working on socially correct ways to talk to others."</p><p>Victor shrugged. "It’s fine. And I'm not upset about you two, by the way."</p><p>Mia nodded, stuffing her hands in her pockets. "And I'm not upset about you and Benji anymore."</p><p>"Are you happy with him?" Victor asked.</p><p>Mia smiled, nodding her head. "I am."</p><p>Victor smiled back. "I'm glad."</p><p>"I haven't heard anything around school about you and Benji," Mia said. "Are you guys okay?"</p><p>Victor nodded. "Yeah, we're great. We were just waiting for everything to clear over..."</p><p>"Well if you were waiting for me to be okay with it, I'm okay with it," Mia said. "You guys can make yourself public."</p><p>Victor hesitated, his heart pounding against his chest at the idea. He wished Greendale was as big as his last school so that he could have passed through the halls like some invisible entity. The popularity was nice for a minute, but now that it counted the most, it was more of a curse than anything else.</p><p>"Great," Victor finally said. "Thank you."</p><p>Mia smiled, stepping closer to hug Victor. "I'm proud of you Victor."</p><p>He stayed still for a few moments, shocked at Mia's hug and even more shocked by her words. Finally, he sank into her embrace, hugging Mia back tightly.</p><p>After his run in with Mia, Victor made his way to the cafeteria. He smiled as he noticed Felix and Benji, until he noticed Lake next to Felix. He liked Lake, she was nice and a cool person to be around. But he definitely didn’t like her with Felix. Something about her keeping Felix a secret for so long rubbed Victor the wrong way. He just wanted to make sure Felix was with the right person. And some reason, it didn’t feel like that was Lake.</p><p>Victor looked away from Felix and onto Benji, who was already looking at him. They smiled as they locked eyes and Victor continued to the table, sitting himself down next to Benji.</p><hr/><p>"Alright boys I'm going to turn in," Mrs. Weston said, standing to her feet. "We can continue this game next week?”</p><p>"Sounds like a plan mom." Felix smiled as his mother kissed his head. "Goodnight."</p><p>"Goodnight Valerie,” Victor said.</p><p>“Goodnight boys.” She disappeared back to her room, leaving Victor and Felix alone.</p><p>Victor looked to Felix who’s eyes were trained hard at the game board. “Hey.” Victor tossed a light piece of the game board at Felix to get his attention. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Felix put on a big smile that Victor saw right through. “Yeah!”</p><p>Victor shook his head. “No. What’s wrong? You’ve been nearly catatonic all night.”</p><p>Felix sighed, gnawing on the inside of his cheek. “It’s Lake. She wants to go on this fancy date tomorrow but I.... I don’t have the money to do that.”</p><p>“You know I really like Lake,” he continued. “But these last couple weeks... I’ve been feeling like I’m... not enough. It’s like... little things that she says. I’m probably overreacting but it’s just hard to feel adequate when she expects me to be some.... socialite who can take her on fancy dates in fancy suits.”</p><p>Felix chuckled a loose piece of the game, curling his knees to his chest. Victor leaned forward, putting a hand on one of Felix’s knees and looking him deep in the eyes.</p><p>“You are more than adequate, Felix,” Victor said. “For anyone! Anyone would be lucky to have you and if Lake can’t see that — that’s on her.”</p><p>Victor sat back, removing his hand from Felix’s knee, leaving an icy cold sensation in its place. “And though I can’t do anything about how you’re feeling or not having enough money, I can help you come up with a cheap and romantic date for Lake that’ll give you both what you need.”</p><p>“You can?” Felix asked.</p><p>Victor nodded. “People love it when others cook for them. Benji and I hardly ever go out to eat, I always cook for us and we set up a romantic picnic in his backyard. I can cook for you guys and set up the fire escape with candles and blankets.”</p><p>“Damn Victor,” Felix mused. “You’re a freaking romantic.”</p><p>Victor blushed, shrugging his shoulders. “I have my moments.”</p><p>“You’d really do all that for me?” Felix asked.</p><p>“Of course! You’re my best friend, Felix,” Victor said. “I would do anything for you.”</p><p>Felix smiled fondly. “Benji is one lucky guy.”</p><p>Victor shrugged, fiddling with the loose thread on the blanket he had. “I think I’m the lucky one in the relationship.”</p><p>“Agree to disagree, Victor,” Felix said.</p><p>“It’s getting pretty late,” Victor noticed.</p><p>“You can crash here if you want,” Felix suggested. “So you don’t have to wake up your family when you come in.”</p><p>Victor smiled. It wouldn’t have been a big deal, they both knew this. Still, Felix offered. And still, Victor accepted. They retired to Felix’s room where they stayed up a while watching Animal Planet until they both fell asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brasstown was buzzing Saturday morning as Felix and Victor entered, their eyes scanning the room.</p><p>"There they are," Victor said, grabbing Felix's hand and leading him to the table in the furthest corner.</p><p>Simon and Bram were quick to stand to their feet, taking turns in hugging Victor.</p><p>"Guys this is Felix," Victor said as they finished their hugs. "Felix this is Simon and Bram."</p><p>"We've heard so much about you," Simon said, hugging Felix.</p><p>"Some good things I hope," Felix said, smiling widely.</p><p>"More like only good things," Bram said, taking his turn to hug Felix.</p><p>"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I tell you guys everything," Victor said. "Can we move on to a different topic, please?"</p><p>They dove into conversation, talking about Simon and Bram's experience in college, making jokes and sharing stories. It was about an hour before any of them thought about drinks or food.</p><p>"I can order the drinks," Victor said. "Looks like Benji just got in."</p><p>"I'll come with you," Simon said, standing to his feet. "You'll need two hands and I'd love to meet Benji."</p><p>"Felix and I will save the table," Bram said. Simon leaned down, swiftly kissing Bram before following Victor to the long line.</p><p>"So," Bram said. "You have a crush on Victor?"</p><p>"What?!" Felix teared his eyes away from Victor, looking at Bram instead. "No — where'd you get that idea?"</p><p>Bram shrugged. "I guess I read the signs wrong."</p><p>"What signs?" Felix asked through a chuckle.</p><p>Bram chuckled and shrugged. "I thought I recognized the way you were staring at Victor. Not to mention they way you two interact with each other. But... I could be wrong. I'm.... wrong a lot."</p><p>"Yeah you-you're wrong," Felix said. "I have a girlfriend."</p><p>"So did Victor," Bram pointed out. "Simon had a girlfriend once too, so did I."</p><p>"Well I am actually attracted to my girlfriend," Felix said. "Without a doubt."</p><p>"Okay," Bram said. "It appears I was wrong."</p><p>Felix smiled. "It's okay." He turned his head back to look at Victor, who was now behind the counter with Benji making drinks. They were smiling at each other and subtly holding hands as Simon walked back with two drinks. Felix frowned, finally placing that twisting feeling in his gut — a feeling he wished he could keep hidden and closed off.</p><p>He liked Lake — he liked Lake a lot. And he liked kissing Lake, and doing more with Lake. But he was also realizing that he liked Victor too. He liked watching tv with Victor and playing Catan with him and his mother and he liked that Victor liked doing those things too. He liked the light sensation he felt when they brushed hands and the fact that Victor actually used the walkie talkie.</p><p>"You good Felix?" Simon asked.</p><p>"I think I'm bisexual," Felix mumbled, looking back at the two college students with wide eyes.</p><p>They didn't get the chance to respond before Victor came back with two cups of coffee.</p><p>"I made yours myself," Victor said, smiling brightly. "Lots of caramel, just like you like it."</p><p>Felix started at the cup, cursing Victor for being so... perfect. Especially in that moment — especially while knowing that he was flirting with Benji while making the coffee. He stood to his feet a little too quickly, startling everyone at the table.</p><p>"Thanks," Felix said, grabbing the coffee and forcing a smile. "I have to go. Work.... called me in early."</p><hr/><p>"So Mia is with Andrew now?!" Simon asked Victor as they approached the long line.</p><p>"Yeah, weird right?" Victor asked.</p><p>Simon shrugged, taking one step forward with Victor. "Are you going to go public with Benji then?"</p><p>Victor shrank under the question. "Uh.... I don't know."</p><p>"Victor." Simon grabbed Victors shoulder, keeping the two of them in place as the line paused. "What is the real reason you don't want to go public with your relationship?"</p><p>Victor sighed. "I don't know...."</p><p>"I think you do, Victor," Simon said. "And until you're honest about why you don't want to go public, you'll stay stuck in the same position."</p><p>Simon looked the shrinking line, wrapping his arm around Victors shoulders and moving them along. "This is my treat."</p><hr/><p>Felix could feel the customers presence without having to look up. He knew it wasn't fair to be irritated at the customer - they didn't know he was about to go on his break - but that didn't stop him from internally rolling his eyes.</p><p>"If you're here for a togo order it's at the —" Felix looked up, startled by the presence of not another rich and entitled Karen of Creekwood, but of Bram. "Bram?"</p><p>Bram smiled, waving his fingers at Felix. "Victor told me where to find you. I thought we could talk. Whenever you have a moment, of course."</p><p>Felix looked around the restaurant as the servers ran about. The lunch rush had just passed for himself but the servers were still catching up.</p><p>"Yeah," Felix said. "I'm about to go on my thirty, can you wait a minute?"</p><p>Bram smiled. "I have all week."</p><p>Felix hurried to finish the rest of his side work, checking with his manager before clocking out and joining Bram at the table he now sat at.</p><p>"One thing I miss about Atlanta," Bram said, cutting into his calzone. "Mellow Mushroom Pizza. It's addictive."</p><p>"It's because they put crack in it," Felix said, smirking as Bram paused chewing in a moment of gullibility. "Being the socially awkward person I am, I totally understand lowkey stalking someone to their workplace but I don't think you came here just in hopes of being my friend."</p><p>Bram chuckled. "I thought we should talk about this morning."</p><p>"So I'm getting my own gayssiah?" Felix asked, hopeful and excited.</p><p>"I'm sorry you're own what?"</p><p>"Never mind," Felix said, shaking his head. "Not important."</p><p>Bram nodded as he took a sip of his drink. “You left pretty abruptly this morning Felix,” he said. “Had Victor pretty worried.”</p><p>“He always worries about me,” Felix said, twisting the paper from Bram’s straw.</p><p>“Probably one of the reasons you like him right?” Bram asked.</p><p>Felix just sighed in response, focusing on the paper straw covering he was twisting into a tiny ball, neither confirming, nor denying Bram’s claim.</p><p>“Look, I know how scary this can be,” Bram continued. “And I know you don’t know me so I’m not trying to coerce anything out of you. I just want to make sure you know that you’re not alone.”</p><p>Felix smiled half-heartedly, finally looking up at Bram. “I’ve thought a lot about it all day. I.... I do... I-I mean you’re not wrong. About how I feel about Victor....”</p><p>“I know,” Bram said with a kind and understanding smile.</p><p>“Gah this sucks,” Felix exclaimed, laying his head on the table. Through the table he mumbled, “He’s got a boyfriend.... and I’ve got a girlfriend....”</p><p>He lifted his head up from the table. “And I like my girlfriend. But I feel like I can be myself around Victor. Like... really myself.”</p><p>“And your girlfriend? She doesn’t make you feel like you can be yourself?” Bram asked</p><p>Felix sighed, considering his words before speaking. “I have waited to be in a relationship with Lake Merriwether since elementary school. I have had a crush on her for years. And now I’m in a relationship with her and.... I don’t think it’s as great as I thought it would be....”</p><p>“Maybe take some time to really consider it,” Bram said. “To really consider how you feel.”</p><p>“How will I know what to do?” Felix asked.</p><p>Bram smiled kindly. “You’ll know, Felix. And if you need anything, anything at all —“ Bram handed Felix a napkin with his number on it. “I guess I’ll be your.... gayssiah, was it?”</p><p>Felix chuckled, taking hold of the napkin. “That’s my term, I coin it.”</p><p>“All yours,” Bram said with a smile.</p><hr/><p>Victor was making meatballs when there was a knock on the apartment door.</p><p>“The doors unlocked!” He shouted, already knowing who would be walking in.</p><p>“Do you always just let people walk into your apartment?” Benji asked as he entered the kitchen.</p><p>“I knew it was you,” Victor said, smiling as Benji sat at the bar stool.</p><p>“I haven’t been to your house since your birthday party,” Benji commented, eyeing the room. “Didn’t think you’d invite me so soon.”</p><p>“My mom took Adrian to the movies,” Victor said. “I told her about us though.”</p><p>“You did?” Benji smiled. “Guessing it’s still weird for her?”</p><p>“Very.” Victor nodded. “She’ll get there though.”</p><p>“So is all of this food for us?” Benji asked.</p><p>“Not all of it,” Victor said. “I offered to cook for Felix and Lake’s date tonight and Simon and Bram are coming over for a little double date kind of thing with us.”</p><p>“You really like planning dates for others don’t you?” Benji asked.</p><p>“I should start a business huh?”</p><p>“Oh definitely,” Benji laughed. “Do you need help?”</p><p>Victor shrugged. “Could be fun. Help me roll meatballs?”</p><p>“Alright but they’re going to come out lumpy.” Benji made his way around to the kitchen, kissing Victor’s cheek before joining him.</p><p>“So I’ve been thinking a lot, since yesterday,” Victor said, wiping his hands with paper towels while Benji prepared to take over. “About our relationship, specifically.”</p><p>“Victor.” Benji stopped rolling. “You’re not breaking up with me, are you?”</p><p>“No! No,” Victor chuckled, cupping Benji’s face with his hands. “Absolutely not. Because, Benji, I love you.”</p><p>“You.... really?” Benji asked.</p><p>“That’s a really weird response to a declaration of love,” Victor said. “But.... but yes. I love you Benji.”</p><p>Victor took his hands off of Benji’s face, pulling out his phone. “And to prove it. I did something.”</p><p>He smiled brightly, handing his phone to Benji where his Instagram post of the two of them was on for display. Benji took the phone, smiling as he read the caption.</p><p>“Victor.... this is big,” Benji said, smiling widely. “Are you sure your comfortable with this?”</p><p>Victor nodded. “I love you Benji. And this past month with you has been amazing and I want everyone to know that I love you.”</p><p>Benji kissed Victor passionately, holding his face in his hands. “I love you too Victor,” he said as they parted. “So much.”</p><hr/><p>For the rest of his shift, Felix couldn’t stop thinking about everything. His constantly increasing feelings for Victor, the slight feeling of inadequacy he felt when with Lake. It wasn’t her fault, they were just too different. Lake Meriwether was his pipe dream, but Victor Salazar was his reality.</p><p>After his shift, he drove straight to Lake’s. Instead of knocking and coming in, he asked Lake to meet him out front.</p><p>“Did you decide on one of the restaurants I sent —“ Lake stopped at the top stair, looking down at an under dressed Felix. “You missed Micheal B. Jordan by a long shot babe.”</p><p>“Lake.” Felix sighed, walking up the steps to be next to Lake. “I Uhm....”</p><p>He let out a shaky breath, holding onto her hands. “I have enjoyed this past month with you, and the weeks before that. I love spending time with you and I think you’re kind and beautiful and funny.... but I.... I don’t think this is going to work.”</p><p>“Felix... what are you talking about?” Lake asked.</p><p>“I think... that we should break up,” Felix breathed out, sucking in tears.</p><p>“I.... no,” Lake said. “I... I love you Felix.”</p><p>“No.” Felix shook his head, holding tighter onto Lake’s hands. “No, Lake. You love the idea of me. You love who you think that I could be. But you don’t love me. And I am guilty of the same thing, Lake. The truth is, we don’t know each other.”</p><p>“We can get to know each other,” Lake cried.</p><p>“I would have stayed with you for a long time, Lake,” Felix said. “Had I not realized that I had feelings for someone else.”</p><p>Lake sucked in a deep breath, looking upward as she took her hands out of Felix’s hold. “It’s Victor isn’t it?”</p><p>Felix avoided her question. “It’s not fair for me to date you and have feelings for someone else.”</p><p>Lake nodded, looking back down at Felix. “Do you like him more than me.”</p><p>“Lake.” Felix shook his head.</p><p>“It’s okay,” Lake said. “I’ve suspected for a while now.”</p><p>She put her hand on Felix’s shoulder. “I just want you to be happy. But just to be clear, you are attracted to me right?”</p><p>Felix let out a light chuckle. “Very much so.”</p><p>“Good.” Lake gave a small smile, kissing Felix one last time. “Friends?”</p><p>“Friends.”</p><hr/><p>Felix was glad Victor’s door was unlocked. When he stumbled in, Victor was watching tv.</p><p>“Oh, hey!” Victor stood to his feet. “You’re a bit late but I’ll get the food, when will Lake be over?”</p><p>“Uh... she won’t,” Felix said. “We broke up.”</p><p>“What?” Victor was standing in front of Felix within a matter of seconds, his hands on Felix’s shoulders.</p><p>Now that Felix knew how he felt about his best friend, it was hard to ignore the need to put his own hands on top of Victors — to ignore the warmth that spread through his body at Victor’s touch.</p><p>“Are you okay?” Victor asked.</p><p>Felix sucked in a deep shaky breath. “Yeah... It just wasn’t going to work out....”</p><p>Victor sighed, examining his best friend before pulling him into a tight embrace, one that Felix melted into as he cried into Victor’s shoulder.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey!! A couple things</p><p>1) thanks again for commenting!! Means the world to me!!<br/>2) not to spoil my own fanfic but Felix is going to come out as Non-Binary in this chapter and I want to say that I am not non-binary and I don’t understand what that is like so if I got it wrong in any way, or if you’re non binary and have any specific things you want me to address through Felix, message me on tumblr! trentadepresso is my account and I’d love to hear yalls thoughts!! Message me, send me asks — I’m always down to chat :)<br/>3) I made a playlist for Velix — it’s called Walkie Talkie Boyfriends on my Spotify angiebanzer<br/>4) big thank you to my bestie Aliyah for constantly dealing with my Love Victor obsession and my questions about this fic. You’re a real one ☺️❤️<br/>5) definitely don’t listen to Trying by Cavetown during the fire escape scene 👀</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Victor stared at the walkie talkie on his night stand. "It's been four whole days since I've heard from Felix."</p><p>"Breakups tend to make people isolate," Benji said, sighing and leaning against Victors bed frame.</p><p>"Yeah but we're Felix and Victor," he said. "We don't, not talk to each other."</p><p>"Didn't know you and Felix were... like an item?"</p><p>Victor turned to look at Benji, eyes wide. He shook his head, crawling across his bed to close the distance between them. He rested himself on Benji's lap, holding his face in his hands. Benji held onto Victor's elbows, leaning into his touch. "Felix is my best friend — but you, Benji, are the man that I love."</p><p>Benji smiled, moving in for a sweet and slow kiss. "I'm sorry," Benji said as they parted. "I can get a little jealous sometimes."</p><p>"It's okay," Victor said. "But I assure you nothing has ever, or will ever happen between Felix and I. I'm just worried about my friend."</p><p>Benji nodded. "Of course. I get that. What does Simon and Bram think of all this?"</p><p>Victor got off of Benji's lap, glancing at the walkie talkie as he grabbed his phone before laying down on Benji's lap and opening the messages.</p><p>"I thought Bram might know why he's avoiding me, because he talked to him Saturday before Felix decided to ghost me," Victor said, scrolling through the many messages he had sent to Felix in the past four days that remained unanswered. "But Bram just texted back saying he didn't know anything..."</p><p>"Maybe you should try and corner him," Benji said, running his hands through Victors hair soothingly. "Force him to talk to you, you know."</p><p>"Every time I try to talk to him he makes excuses to leave," Victor sighed. "I don't know what I did..."</p><p>"You didn't do anything, Vic," Benji said.</p><p>"How do you know that?"</p><p>Benji contemplated for a moment before looking down and smiling at Victor. "Because you guys are Victor and Felix."</p><p>Victor smiled back up at him. "I really do love you Benji."</p><p>Benji leaned down, kissing Victors forehead. "I love you too."</p><p>He held Victor's head, carefully sitting him up as Benji rolled off the bed. "I should get to work." He kissed Victor. "Talk to Felix."</p><p>"Here's to hoping he talks to me," Victor said as Benji grabbed his coat and left with a simple goodbye.</p>
<hr/><p>Some reason Felix couldn't look away from his phone. He kept scrolling through the thread of instagram photos of Benji and Victor on Victors Instagram post. One selfie with them on the canoe, one with Benji asleep on Victors chest and one of Victor kissing Benji's cheek. And he kept reading those damn words over and over again.</p><p>'<em>I love this man.'</em></p><p>Felix groaned, tossing his phone against his bed, watching as it bounced up and down before hitting the ground.</p><p>"Felix." Victors voice came through the static of the walkie talkie, startling Felix. "I really think we should talk. Will you meet me at my fire escape in fifteen minutes?"</p><p>Felix sighed, staring at his walkie talkie as the static began to buzz again. "Felix I... I just really miss you.... over."</p><p>The only thing that pulled Felix's attention away from the walkie talkie was the sound of his phone ringing across the room. Felix lunged over his bed, clumsily grabbing his phone. He looked at the contact name before answering.</p><p>"Bram?"</p><p>"Meet me outside," he said.</p><p>"Why?" Felix asked.</p><p>"Just do it before I march up there and drag you out," Bram said. "You have five minutes."</p><p>Felix shook his head as Bram hung up but followed his instructions nonetheless.</p><p>"What's this about Bra— ow!" Felix flinched as Bram smacked his shoulder. "What the hell was that for?"</p><p>"Sorry... I was friends with Victor first and I can get a little over protective," Bram said. "But you know what that's for."</p><p>"How did you know?"</p><p>"You say that like you don't know that Victor tells Simon everything and that Simon tells me everything," Bram said. "Word gets around, Felix."</p><p>"Fan-freaking-tastic," Felix exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air rather exaggeratedly.</p><p>"Why are you ignoring Victor?" Bram asked.</p><p>"You know why," Felix stated. "I'm constantly afraid I'll say something and... ruin everything! I don't want to ruin our friendship Bram."</p><p>"And you think ignoring him will what? Make your friendship blossom?! You're hurting him, Felix."</p><p>Felix cringed at that comment. He already knew that he was. He could hear it in Victor's voice every night when he tried to talk to him through the walkie talkies. Felix has considered turning his volume off so he could ignore the way he was hurting his best friend, but he had missed the sound of Victors voice.</p><p>"He loves Benji," Felix said. "Not me. It'll never be me."</p><p>"You don't know that, Felix," Bram said. "You think Simon and I just one day decided to date? It took time — a lot of it. I had liked Simon for so long before he even noticed me. Besides, what you have with Victor is so much more precious than any romantic relationship. Why throw that away just because you can't have him right now?"</p><p>Felix stood there meditating on Bram's words. "I know.... you're right. I just... I never had a friend before Victor, let alone a friend like Victor."</p><p>"I came on really strong, Bram," Felix continued. "Like really, really strong in a totally weird kind of way. And there was a moment where I thought that I lost another friend and was all alone again... but Victor didn't leave. And he never does. No matter what weird and obscure thing I do he is with me and he accepts me and I just.... I've never felt more accepted and more able to be myself than when I'm with Victor and.... sometimes that scares me."</p><p>"Just be honest with him, Felix," Bram said. "Tell him all of that and more."</p><p>Felix sighed. "I don't know if I can...."</p><p>Bram put his hand on Felix's shoulder. "You don't have to tell him everything. Just let him in a little bit. Or you're going to loose him."</p>
<hr/><p>Victor sighed, standing to his feet on the fire escape, ready to call it quits and go inside. But then Felix climbed down his own fire escape, meeting Victor with a closed mouth smile.</p><p>"I didn't think you would come," Victor said.</p><p>"Neither did I, honestly," Felix said, sitting himself down on the last step of the latter.</p><p>"Felix did I... did I do something to upset you?" Victor asked.</p><p>"No," Felix said. "Not at all."</p><p>Victor nodded, slowly walking towards Felix and sitting down next to him. "Then what's going on?"</p><p>Felix sighed, keeping his eyes trained on the railing of the fire escape.</p><p>"When we went for coffee with Bram and Simon, I realized something," Felix said. "I... I like guys.... in the same way that I like woman."</p><p>"You're bisexual?" Victor asked. "Felix, you know I'm gay right? I am the last person who would judge you."</p><p>"It's not just that though," Felix said. "I did a bunch of research over the past couple days and I think Pansexual fits best. But still.... that's not all..."</p><p>"Felix." Victor put his hand on Felix's knee. "You can tell me anything. There is nothing you could say or do that will change the way I feel about you."</p><p>Felix finally met Victors gaze. His big brown eyes were wide and beautiful and caring. He knew that Victor was telling the truth.</p><p>Felix looked back at the ground, wringing his hands again and again. "I've been... feeling out of place for a few years now.... in my... body and with my... mind, I guess."</p><p>"And I've been ignoring it for as long as I first noticed it," he continued. "And I've done such a good job of convincing myself that this isn't the truth but something Bram said to me.... it brought all those feelings back to the surface..."</p><p>Felix took in a deep, painful breath, fighting back tears. "Victor, I'm non-binary."</p><p>Felix’s heart thrummed erratically against his chest as the silence spread while Victor thought of what to say. He wondered if this was how Victor felt when their roles were reversed. But the presence of Victor’s hand on Felix’s knee never left, providing him with a sense of comfort.</p><p>“Okay,” Victor finally said. “I’m new to all this so, what exactly does that mean?”</p><p>“Uh... well.... I-I just don’t feel like... the word m-man is very fitting for myself,” Felix sputtered out. “And I-I sometimes wish that I could wear.... hair clips a-and skirts.... and I watch makeup tutorials and I wish that I could wear makeup.... sometimes....”</p><p>“Do you... do you want me to call you by different pronouns?” Victor asked, shocking Felix to look at him.</p><p>“You’d really do that?” He asked.</p><p>“I’d do anything for you Felix,” he said, causing Felix’s stomach to churn and his chest to almost burn at the sincerity in Victor’s voice. “Whatever makes you more comfortable. And we can go shopping for skirts and hair clips whenever you want. I don’t know if I’ll be much help because I’m pathetic in all fields of fashion, but I’ll do my best.”</p><p>Felix smiled, large and brightly. “I don’t know about pronouns yet,” he said. “And I definitely don’t think I’ll be going out in public like that anytime soon. But being able to be myself in front of you is enough for now.”</p><p>Victor smiled, wrapping Felix into a tight hug, just as Felix had done when Victor came out. “You can always be yourself around me,” he said.</p><p>Felix sank into the hug. “I know.”</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Dear Simon,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>It's finally summer, meaning sophomore year is over and things have been going... pretty well. As you know I got a small amount of crap after coming out during spring break and even though it has mostly past, things aren't the way they were before. It's moments like this that make me miss being invisible. When I first arrived to Creekwood, I wanted people to notice me because I was sick of being invisible. But popularity showed to have its downsides. But sophomore year is over and Junior year will bring new beginnings.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish I could accept your invitation to New York for a bit this summer, but unfortunately my family is going to Texas for the whole summer! And yes... my whole family.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I haven't talked to my dad since I came out three months ago! And of course we'll be staying with my grandparents the whole time, which means hiding who I am. My mom begged me to keep my relationship with Benji under raps and to not mention the separation.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Safe to say, it's going to be hell.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Victor! Benji is here,” his mother called from the living room.</p><p>“Coming!” Victor responded from his own room. He sighed, sending the message to Simon and closing his computer and sticking it in his suitcase before leaving with his bags.</p><p>He welcomed Benji with a quick kiss and a tight hug. “You can leave your bags by the door <em>mijo</em>. Your father should be here soon, he’ll load the car.”</p><p>Victor nodded, sticking his bags with the others and grabbing Benji’s hand with the other, leading them further down the hallway.</p><p>“I’m really glad you could make it before we left,” Victor said.</p><p>“Couldn’t let you leave for two months without saying goodbye,” Benji said, interlocking his fingers with Victors.</p><p>“It’s going to be a hellish two months,” Victor said with a smile.</p><p>“Well I brought you something,” Benji said, handing Victor a piece of paper with a drawing of himself. “So you don’t forget about me while around all your Texas friends.”</p><p>Victor chuckled. “That’s assuming I have Texas friends. But I could never forget about you, <em>mi vida.</em>”</p><p>“Victor I’ve told you before, you can’t just call me things like that and expect me not to want to kiss you,” Benji stated.</p><p>“Call you things like what?” Victor asked, coyly, stepping closer to Benji.</p><p>“You... you know exactly what I’m talking about,” Benji spluttered out. Victor took pride in the blush that crept up his boyfriends face.</p><p>“I’m afraid I really don’t, <em>bomboncito</em>,” Victor said smugly.</p><p>“See I-I don’t know what that one means but I <em>sure</em> like the way you say it,” Benji said.</p><p>Victor chuckled, finally going in for the kiss, his free hand curling around the back on Benji’s neck.</p><p>“Alright Salazar family let’s get going!” Victor’s father walked in, clapping his hands. His clapping stopped abruptly as Victor and Benji pulled. Victor made eye contact his father, tightening his grip on Benji’s hand.</p><p>Armando jerked his head in the opposite direction, lifting Adrian up into a hug as the little boy ran to his dads embrace. Victor couldn’t help but reminisce on the moments when he was Adrian’s age. When his father was his hero and his world and the man he looked up to. Now he was nothing but the man who hated him.</p><p>“Hey I should get going,” Benji said, pulling Victors attention back into him. “Walk me to my car?”</p><p>Victor nodded, following Benji’s lead out of the apartment. “Are you going to be okay Victor?”</p><p>He shrugged in response as the descended down the stairs to the first floor. “It’s going to be an unbeatable two months... so I really don’t know.”</p><p>Benji stopped them at his car, turning to face Victor. “Well you can always call me,” he said. “Even if I’m at work, when I see your name pop up I’m going to run to the back and answer.”</p><p>“I don’t think Sara will be too happy about that,” Victor chuckled.</p><p>“Yeah well she wasn’t too happy about you asking for two months off but she got over it.” Benji smiled. “And you better FaceTime me so I can keep seeing that pretty face of yours.”</p><p>“I definitely wouldn’t make it these next two months without seeing your face so, of course I will.”</p><p>“Good,” Benji responded, kissing Victor one last time.</p><p>“God I’m going to miss kissing you,” Victor said.</p><p>“Me too,” Benji breathed out.</p><p>“Who’s ready for a little road trip!” Felix shouted, carrying a few bags to his car.</p><p>“Oh... Felix is joining you,” Benji muttered. “You didn’t mention that.”</p><p>Victor tried to hold in his deep sigh. Benji didn’t seem to like Felix too much. That or he just didn’t like that he and Felix spent so much time together. But ever since Felix came out to Victor the two had gotten even closer and Victor could tell Benji wasn’t too happy about it. He told Benji time and time again that they were just friends but even when Benji said he trusted him, Victor could tell he didn’t really believe him. He tried taking it with a grain of salt — and most times he did — but inwardly, it bugged Victor that Benji didn’t trust him.</p><p>“The- He’s dropping us off at the airport, Benji,” Victor said, letting go of his hand. “Of course I would have told you if Felix was coming with us to Texas. I’m not that bad of a boyfriend, am I?”</p><p>“No, no, hey.” Benji grabbed Victors hand again, stopping him from turning away from him. “I’m sorry. I know, <em>I</em> <em>know</em> that there’s nothing going on between you two. I trust you.”</p><p>“Then why do we keep having this same argument?” Victor asked, his voice hushed as his family came out of the complex.</p><p>“Because I’m insecure...” Benji gave an innocent smile. “And that makes me do dumb things...”</p><p>“You’re lucky you’re cute, Benji,” Victor said. He looked around, assuring his father wasn’t looking, and kissed Benji’s forehead. “I’ll text you when we land.”</p><p>He went to leave, but Benji didn’t let go of his hand. “Victor... I love you.”</p><p>Victor gave a small closed mouthed smile as he looked back at his boyfriend, squeezing the tips of his fingers. “Love you too Benji.”</p><p>He slipped into the back seat of Felix’s car with Adrian. His mom and Pilar sat in the middle row and his father sat in the passenger seat while Felix drove. As soon as Victor buckled up him and Adrian and the car was set to drive, Armando turned in his seat to meet Victors eyes.</p><p>“Do you have something you would like to say dad?” Victor asked after a few minutes of feeling his stare.</p><p>“You know what I have say Victor,” he said.</p><p>“Armando please —“</p><p>“No, it you’re not going do anything about it than I will,” Armando said. “That was entirely inappropriate.”</p><p>“To what are you referring to?” Victor asked, despite already know what he was referring to.</p><p>“You know, Victor.”</p><p>“Armando let’s not do this right now,” Isabel said. “Not in front of Adrian.”</p><p>“No it’s fine mom,” Victor said. “Y’know from where I’ve been standing for the past three months, you really don’t get a say in what I do.”</p><p>“Maybe not but I do get a say in what happens in my house and in front of my son.”</p><p>“I’m your son too!” He shouted. “And I don’t really think it bothers Adrian. Right Adrian? You like Benji don’t you?”</p><p>“Okay don’t bring your brother into this,” Armando said.</p><p>“You brought him into it first. Look just because we have to play happy family at Abuela Nati and Tito’s this summer, does not mean you get to play my dad.”</p><p>“I am you’re dad!”</p><p>“A real dad wouldn’t have walked out on his kid just because he’s gay,” Victor shouted back.</p><p>“We’re hereeee,” Felix sang, in hopes of breaking the tension.</p><p>“I like Benji,” Adrian said after a beat of silence fell over the car. “He plays Elsa with me.”</p><p>Armando let out a huff, getting out of the car.</p><p>“Victor—“</p><p>Victor brushed off his moms attempt at consoling him. He got himself out of the car, but instead of joining his father to unload the car, he moved to the passenger seat.</p><p>“<em>Mijo</em> what are you doing?” Isabel asked.</p><p>“I’m not going,” Victor mumbled. Felix reached over, clasping their hand with Victors, squeezing for support. “You all want me to be someone I’m not and I refuse to pretend to be his son when he clearly doesn’t want anything to do with me.”</p><p>“Victor —“</p><p>“Mom,” Pilar cut in. “Felix and I got it.”</p><p>Isabel sighed, turning to Adrian. “Come on <em>Papi</em>, lets help your dad.”</p><p>The two of them left, leaving Pilar, Felix and Victor alone in the car.</p><p>“You’re really not going?” Pilar asked.</p><p>“Why should I?” Victor asked. “He doesn’t want me there, I don’t want to be there and if abuelita and abuelito knew who I really was, they wouldn’t want me there either.”</p><p>“I want you there Victor,” Pilar said.</p><p>“Please, Pilar,” Victor said. “You’re going to go off and spend all your time with your friends. I don’t have friends in Texas! Especially after coming out.”</p><p>“Then we’ll stick together,” Pilar said. “I won’t leave you alone.”</p><p>Victor sighed, contemplating as he chewed on his bottom lip.</p><p>“Can we have a minute Pilar?” Felix asked, turning to look at Pilar.</p><p>She sighed, scooting out of the car and shutting the door behind her.</p><p>“Do you think I should go?” Victor asked, turning in his seat to look at Felix, still holding their hand.</p><p>“Truthfully? Yes and No,” Felix said. “No because I want you to be happy and I don’t want you to be miserable for two months all by yourself.”</p><p>“And the yes?”</p><p>Felix thought of exactly what to say before finally speaking. “This is the first time you’ve seen your dad since you came out. It’s not going to go perfectly. But being forced to spend two months with him could be very beneficial for you both. He didn’t have to invite you. Doesn’t that say.... something?”</p><p>“I mean sure,” Felix continued. “He could end up being nothing but a deadbeat homophobic father. But he could also come around. And do you really want to go through the rest of your life not knowing which it could be?”</p><p>Victor sighed, nodding his head. “You’re right. Thank you Felix.”</p><p>“Anytime Vic.”</p><p>“Well... wish me luck,” Victor said, hesitantly letting go of his friends hand.</p><p>“See you in two months.”</p><p>Victor stayed facing the car door, his hand on the handle for a few minutes.</p><p>“You’re not moving,” Felix said. “Need me to —“</p><p>Victor cut Felix off, turning and lunging forward to wrap them in a tight embrace. “I’m going to miss you,” Victor said into Felix’s shoulder.”</p><p>Felix sank under his touch, hugging back. “I’m going to miss you too Vic.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hate this chapter. Period.</p><p>It’s short and ugly and boring but what happens over the summer isn’t super relevant soooo just... suffer with me Ig</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Simon,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So far so.... decent. My dad and I have been tiptoeing around each other this last week. I try to be around everyone for as little as possible and when my grandparents ask me about the many girls I’m now fighting off with my new single life, I simply force a chuckle and pray the conversation moves on. Pilar is helpful with defusing the tension. Things are very upside right now — Pilar being the peacemaker is something none of us are used to. Maybe one day I won’t be so.... consumed with anger. I’ve never felt so angry before Simon. I didn’t even realize I was so angry until I saw my dad. I don’t know what to do about it.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Victor,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m so sorry you’re having such a rough time. I totally get the uncomfortableness of the girlfriend questions/jokes. I can’t even count how many my dad made before I came out and each one made it a little harder for me to be myself. As for the anger, I also get that. When I was first outed, I was so angry. Angry at the kid who outed me, angry at my sister for reading the post, angry at my parents for... no reason now I think about it. I was just angry at the world and the teasing I received at school and the lack of friends only increased my anger. I know the stories around school always make it seem like it was so easy for me but for a while it was rocky. I think anger is natural part of the coming out process and I know it’s more of a new emotion for you Victor, at least to this extent, but don’t let it consume you. Focus on Pilar, keep in constant touch with Felix, Benji and myself and I’m sure you’ll be able to get through this summer.</em>
</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Simon,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Happy pride! It kind of sucks that I’m stuck in Texas, of all places, during pride but two people I knew before moving recently came out after I did and the three of us plus Pilar all went to Dallas’ pride event this past weekend (without our parents really knowing) and all the anger and desperation I’ve been feeling totally went away! At least for the hours I was away.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Other than that, we’re still working with minimal progress between my dad and I. By that I mean I can stand in a room with him without my insides boiling and I can listen to him talk without rolling my eyes. So... baby steps?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Victor looked up from his phone as someone knocked on the door of the guest room. He sat up from his position on his stomach as his father walked into the room.</p><p>“Victor, can we talk?” Armando asked, shutting the door behind him.</p><p>“Depends,” Victor said. “Are you going to yell at me some more?”</p><p>“Nope,” he said. “No yelling. Can I sit?”</p><p>“If you feel comfortable,” Victor mumbled, scooting over as his father sat next to him.</p><p>Victor watched as his father rubbed his knees, prepping for what he was about to say.</p><p>“You’re right, Victor,” he finally said, shocking Victor. “I haven’t been much of a father to you these past few months and... I’m sorry.”</p><p>“You.... you are?” Victor asked.</p><p>Armando nodded, looking at Victor. “I’ve been thinking a lot about how I reacted and.... it was wrong.”</p><p>“I... I know I shouldn’t complain, or question,” Victor said. “But where is this coming from? Why the sudden change of heart?”</p><p>“You’re mom and I have been talking and she brought it to my attention that you seem happier recently than you have in a long time,” he said.</p><p>“When you first came out you said ‘I’m still me,’” Armando said. “But that’s not true. You’re not still “you” b-because... you never really were... yourself. An-and now you’re finally able to be yourself... and I’d like the chance to get to know the real you Victor... if you’ll allow me to.”</p><p>“Uh.... you’re serious?” Victor asked. Armando nodded.</p><p>“Yeah,” Victor said, nodding as he smiled. “I’d love that.”</p><p>Armando smiled. “Great! So why don’t you... tell me about Benji.”</p><p>“It’s okay,” Victor said, chuckling slightly. “I know we’re not there yet.”</p><p>“Good call.”</p><hr/><p>
  <em>Simon,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Progress with my dad has picked up since we talked last month and I think last night really showed just how much progress we’ve made.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>As you know my entire extended family came together yesterday for Fourth of July to indulge in fritanga, empanadas and a heap load of arepas while my uncle Matías almost set the house on fire trying to set off fireworks in the backyard. I had made it through most the day, brushing off heteronormative questions and assumptions and painfully pretending to be single until my cousin accidentally outed me. It was an accident, just a slip up (I forgot that he follows my Instagram) but it sucked and it was awkward and the whole family was staring at me like I murdered aunt Lucia’s cat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>But my dad stepped up and he told my grandparents off. My mom, Pilar and even Adrian joined and stood by my side. It has been very awkward ever since. Sure that was yesterday evening but one awkwardly silent breakfast and lunch is enough for anyone. I really don’t know how the rest of this summer will go over.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Victor,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am so sorry you were outed in front of your family! That is absolutely awful and reading between the lines, it did not go well so I’m sorry about that too. I’m really glad to hear your dad is supporting you and that your family stood by your side and that you have them with you for the remaining summer. You told me you now have friends over there so I’d recommend spending more time with them if possible and less time around the house. Let me know if you ever need a plane ticket to NYC because Bram and I might me struggling college students but for you Vic, we’ll do it!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Si,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>That’s very sweet but I’m not going to ask you to do that 💖</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Felix looked around the airport, continuously checking their phone for anymore messages from Victor on where they were at. They looked up from their phone, smiling as they spotted Victor. He quickly noticed Felix himself, the two running a bit to meet each other in a tight embrace.</p><p>"Where's the rest of the family?" Felix asked as they finally parted from the hug.</p><p>"Getting the luggage," Victor said, continuing to stare at Felix. "I'm so glad to be back, you don't even know."</p><p>"It was that bad huh?" Felix asked. "I saw your pride post. Looked fun."</p><p>"It wasn't the worst... at first," Victor said, watching his family come back from luggage claim. "I'll tell you all about it tonight."</p><p>"You're not meeting up with Benji tonight?" Felix asked.</p><p>"I'm going to watch tv and talk with my best friend first," Victor said with a smile that warmed Felix's heart. "My boyfriend can wait a day."</p><p>"Victor," Armando called. "Mind helping with the bags?"</p><p>"Coming." Victor smiled, patting his friends back before catching up with his father.</p><hr/><p>“So Mia and Lake are together now?” Victor asked, sitting next to Felix on his bed, his legs curled under him as he sat criss-crossed.</p><p>“Crazy right?!” Felix asked. “Kind of makes sense if you really think about it.”</p><p>Victor chuckled. “I did hear that gays tend to find each other — even before they all come out.”</p><p>It was Felix’s turn to chuckle. “That is true.”</p><p>“So,” Felix said after a pause. “Did I get a Texas snow globe?”</p><p>Victor let out a laugh, shaking his head. “No,” he said. “I did get you something though.”</p><p>“Oh,” Felix said. “I didn’t think you actually got me something. You didn’t have to get me anything.”</p><p>“Oh I know,” Victor said, rolling off his bed and opening his suitcase. “But I saw it at Dallas Pride and thought of you.”</p><p>Victor sat back on his bed, facing Felix. “It’s nothing much but... here.”</p><p>He hand Felix the small object wrapped in tissue paper watching as they unwrapped it, revealing a pin of a planet with the non-binary flag colors. Felix stared at it for a while, running their finger along it.</p><p>“I-I thought of you because you love space,” Victor said. “And... and because you’re non-binary. But I mean if you don’t like it I can al—“</p><p>Felix interrupted Victor by engulfing him into a hug. “I love it Vic, thank you.”</p><p>Victor smiled, hugging back. “Don’t mention it Felix.”</p><p>They slowly pulled out of the hug, but kept each other at arms length, holding each other as they met each other’s eyes. Victor tried to ignore the pounding of his heart against his chest, writing it off as anxiety from giving Felix their gift. Meanwhile, Felix fought off the urge to kiss his best friend.</p><p>Victor let out an awkward chuckle, letting go of Felix’s arms. “I’m going to make popcorn. Pick something funny.”</p><p>Felix saluted. “Aye, aye, Captain,” they said, shaking their head at their own idiocy.</p><p>Victor chuckled again, disappearing out of the room. Felix sighed, falling back against Victors bed and covering his face with a pillow.</p><p>“What has you so depressed?” Pilar asked, entering the room. Felix sat up, lifting the pillow off his face. “No let me guess, you’re feelings for my brother?”</p><p>“What?!” Felix asked. “I-I.... I don’t... I don’t know what you’re talking about. Victor?! Psh... no....”</p><p>Pilar rose her eyebrows, shutting the door and joining Felix on the bed. “Victor might be blind, Felix, but I’m not. I’ve had my suspicions for a while now.”</p><p>“I... how?” Felix asked.</p><p>Pilar let out a hard chuckle. “It’s painfully obvious, Felix.”</p><p>“Oh god,” Felix hid their face in the pillow again, groaning.</p><p>“Hey, hey, don’t suffocate yourself,” Pilar exclaimed, lifting them up and away from the pillow. “Now you don’t have to be alone with all your.... Victor drama.”</p><p>“Technically I wasn’t alone before,” Victor said. “Bram, Simon and Lake all know... now that I think about it they all found out without me saying anything...”</p><p>“Because you’re really bad at hiding it,” Pilar said. “But so is Victor, so you’re not alone.”</p><p>“Wait... what do you mean by that?” Felix asked. “Has he said something to you?”</p><p>“Oh... no,” Pilar said. “But he’s my brother. I saw it before he came out.”</p><p>“Saw what, exactly?”</p><p>Pilar just shrugged, standing to her feet. “Pilar.”</p><p>“My lips are sealed!” she said as Victor slipped in.</p><p>“What are you doing in here?” he asked, looking between Pilar and Felix.</p><p>“Calm down Victor,” Pilar said, winking at Felix who threw a pillow her way in response. “I’m leaving.”</p><p>“What was that about?” Victor asked, eyeing the door as Pilar shut it and he joined Felix on his bed.</p><p>“What? That?” Felix shrugged, grabbing and handful of popcorn, shoving it in his mouth and mumbling and inaudible, “nothing.”</p><p>“Okay...” Victor said. “Did you pick a movie?”</p><p>“Uhm...” Felix finished chewing. “Shazam?”</p><p>“Again?”</p><p>“It’s a good movie,” Felix said. “I won’t apologize for having good taste.”</p><p>Victor chuckled, eyeing Felix until they looked back at him. Victor gave a small smile, looking at the t.v screen. “Shazam it is.”</p><p>Felix continued staring at Victors profile, their mind racing and replaying every look he had thrown Felix’s way — every look Felix caught from him. The touches, the words of encouragement. Felix looked at the pin in their hand. Did Victor —</p><p>“I always found Zachary Levi attractive,” Victor said. “Like his voice is Tangled? Flynn Ryder was definitely the first cartoon crush I can think of.”</p><p>Felix looked back at Victor, then at the tv. There was no way Victor liked them.</p><p>“Yep,” Felix said, sticking the pin down on the night stand and laying next to Victor. “He’s very attractive.”</p><hr/><p>“And your cousin just... blurted it out?” Benji asked.</p><p>Victor nodded, looking through all of Benji’s records. “Yep. When I tell you that I’ve never been more terrified —“ Victor looked back at Benji. “— I mean it.” </p><p>He went back to looking through the records, finally picking one out. Benji wrapped his arms around Victors waist from behind, taking the record out of his hands.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Benji said, resting his head on Victors shoulder and putting the record down. “But that’s no excuse for your horrible taste in music.”</p><p>“Horrible taste?” Victor asked. “This is your collection, music nerd.”</p><p>Benji chuckled, picking out another album and putting it on the turn table. “And you managed to find the one album my dad got me from a garage sale when I was twelve.”</p><p>Victor laughed along with Benji, turning to face his boyfriend and draping his arms around his shoulders, Benji’s hands moving to Victor’s hips.</p><p>“I <em>really</em> missed you Victor,” Benji whispered, pressing their bodies together.</p><p>Victor glanced to Benji’s lips, then back to his eyes. “I missed you too <em>mi vida.</em>”</p><p>Benji smiled, resting his forehead against Victor’s. “I won’t even complain,” he said. “I was going to kiss you anyway.” <br/><br/>He slid his hands up Victor’s back, pulling his lips to his into a deep and passionate kiss. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I should have just waited until college,” Felix muttered, pulling into the schools parking lot. “It’s like two years away, I could have waiting that long.”</p><p>“That’s what I said,” Victor said in response. “Look it’s going to be fine. And if anyone gives you crap, I will have no choice but to beat them up.”</p><p>Felix chuckled. “Don’t get suspended on my behalf.”</p><p>“For you, Felix, I would risk getting arrested,” Victor said. “Come on. You’re not alone, I’m right here with you.”</p><p>Felix sighed, nodding their head and getting out of the car, meeting Victor around on the other side. They chatted a bit with one another about their first few weeks of junior year while Felix tried to ignore the eyes on them but they felt the stares of their peers burn wholes in their back.</p><p>Victor and Felix arrived to their lockers, Felix’s eyes immediately fixed on their own locker and the word spray painted across it. Felix immediately shrank, wishing to disappear or become invisible or rather be anywhere but at this school.</p><p>“Hey, hey,” Victor took Felix’s shoulders, turning them to face him. “Don’t look at that, look at me.”</p><p>“What am I suppose to do?” Felix whispered, their voice cracking as they spoke. “Stay away from my locker all day?”</p><p>“I—“</p><p>“Oh look here Cody,” came a cocky voice from behind Victor. He turned around, joining Felix’s side and glaring at Cody Hummings and Kyle Glaze, two boys on the basketball team. “<em>Thing</em> one. Which means Victor here is thing two. We knew you were a fairy we just didn’t realize how much.”</p><p>“Come on Felix,” Victor said, swallowing his anger back like a horse pill. He grabbed Felix’s arm, turning both of them around.</p><p>“Hey Victor, tell us,” Cody said. “Does Felix here even have <em>one</em> ball? Or is it a —“</p><p>It happened in a blur. One moment Victor was trying to usher Felix away from the gathering crowd while he tried to ignore his teammates homophobic statements, and the next moment, both boys were clutching their jaws and Victor’s knuckles were throbbing while those watching gasped and muttered.</p><p>“Shit...” Victor mumbled.</p><p>“Vic —“</p><p>“C’mon, hurry.” Victor grabbed Felix’s hand, pulling him past the crowd and towards the exit.</p><p>“You just punched those guys!” Felix exclaimed as they got out of the building.</p><p>“I know...”</p><p>“You said you’d beat someone up for me but I didn’t think you meant literally!” They both stopped at Victors car. He glanced at the front entrance, his heart racing and his hand aching.</p><p>“I didn’t either honestly,” Victor said. “Let’s just go.”</p><p>“Uh... where are we going Victor?” they asked, walking to the passenger side of Victor’s car.</p><p>“New York City.” Victor slipped into the driver side of the car, shaking his now bruising hand.</p><p>“Are you crazy?!” Felix asked. “We can’t just drive to New York City!”</p><p>“We’re not,” Victor said, starting the car. “We’re flying to New York City.”</p><p>“You really are crazy,” they said. “You’re parents —“</p><p>“I’ll make something up,” Victor said, putting the car in reverse.</p><p>“Vic.” Felix but their hand on Victors, stopping him from putting it in drive. “Are you okay?”</p><p>He nodded, the blur of the last few minutes finally fading. “This is for you, Felix,” he stated. “Besides, I should be asking you that question.”</p><p>“I don’t need this, Victor,” they said. “What those assholes said... it hurt. But we don’t need a spontaneous trip to New York for me to be fine.”</p><p>“Going to New York allowed me to accept who I am,” Victor said. “I don’t think you’ve truly accepted yourself yet, Felix.”</p><p>Felix sighed, glancing at the entrance of the school. No one had come out... yet. “We don’t have the money for two plane tickets to New York...”</p><p>“Simon gave me two, two-way tickets during the summer, good for anytime,” Victor stated. “We can either drive to the airport and validate these tickets.... or I can park this car and we can go back into that hellhole.”</p><p>Felix looked back at Victor. It looked like he could use the trip as much as they could use it. They took their hand off of Victor’s. “I have always wanted to take a bite of the big apple.”</p><p>Victor smiled. “Call up Simon and Bram. Let’s make sure they’re actually there first.”<span class="Apple-converted-space"> <br/></span></p><hr/><p>“So are two going to tell us what this impromptu trip is all about?” Simon asked as they entered the apartment.</p><p>“Uh... where’s everyone else?” Victor asked, strolling in and looking around.</p><p>Simon and Bram exchanged glances. “Victor, I know what you’re doing,” Simon said.</p><p>“Don’t think we didn’t notice your knuckles,” Bram said, grabbing Victors bruised hand in question.</p><p>“Uh...”</p><p>“Victor!” A chorus of voices sounded. Victor pulled his hand out of Bram’s grasp, turning to face Kim, Justin and Ivy as they ran to hug him.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” Ivy asked.</p><p>“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Simon asked. He slowly turned to face Felix. “Felix?”</p><p>Felix put their hands up. “Snitches get Stitches.”</p><p>“And who is this?” Justin asked.</p><p>“Sorry this is my best friend Felix,” Victor said. “Felix this is Justin, Ivy and Kim.”</p><p>“And before you ask,” Kim said. “I prefer they/them pronouns.”</p><p>“You do?” Felix asked. “You’re non-binary?”</p><p>Kim nodded, smiling proudly.</p><p>“I think we should get back to the reason you two are here,” Bram said.</p><p>“Well you know I... Ipunchedsomeone,” Victor said quickly, shrugging his shoulders.</p><p>“Two someones,” Felix said, smiling. “It was amazing.”</p><p>“Snitches get stitches huh Felix?”</p><p>“I’ve been waiting to brag about it since we stepped off the plane,” Felix said. “They were all ‘blah blah blah I’m homophobic blah blah’ and Victor was like ‘pow pow!’ and totally knocked them both on their asses. Then we ran.”</p><p>“You punched out two homophobes?” Justin asked, smiling proudly. “‘Atta boy Victor.”</p><p>Victor shook his head. “It’s not a big deal. Anyone would have done the same thing.”</p><p>“So you punched someone and flew here to run away from the consequences?” Bram asked, smirking and bumping Victors shoulder.</p><p>Victor playfully rolled his eyes as the other chuckled. “No! Nothing like that.”</p><p>“Victor said when he came here he was able to accept himself,” Felix said. “So.... do you’re guys’ magic.”</p><p>“You two brought us another gayby?” Ivy asked. “I knew this roommate situation would serve in my benefit.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So you guys do this like what? Every weekend?" Felix asked as they made their way into the club.</p><p>They had spent the day exploring New York City and trying the best food cart foods but as the sun began to set they all squished into one taxi and made their way to the club.</p><p>The others chuckled at Felix's question.</p><p>"Yeah because junior year of college gives us plenty of time to party it up," Justin said.</p><p>"We just come every once in a while," Ivy said. "Or to other clubs alike this one."</p><p>"There are other gay clubs?" Felix asked, their face brightening.</p><p>"Of course," Kim exclaimed. "There are so many gay clubs. Hidden and public alike."</p><p>"Hidden gay clubs?" Felix asked, astonished. "Like a gay speakeasy! Oh that would be dope!"</p><p>Everyone chuckled, crowding at the bar together. "I like this one a lot," Justin said. "Can we keep him here."</p><p>"They," Victor corrected, out of habit and without thinking much about it.</p><p>Felix looked to their friend, smiling softly as they looked him over. Victor wasn't paying attention to the others until the lull of silence grew. He finally glanced from his hands on the table to those staring around him.</p><p>"F-Felix's pronouns." Victor made eye contact with Felix, eyes concerned and frightened. "Should I not have said anything?"</p><p>Felix was still smiling. He shook his head. "No, I appreciate that you did. But ‘he’ is okay too.” </p><p>Victor and Felix continued to stare at each other for a passing minute until his phone rang in his back pocket.</p><p>"Oh hold on," Victor said, checking his phone. "My moms calling."</p><p>Victor excused himself, leaving the group and stepping outside.</p><p>"Hm... I thought Victor was dating Benji," Justin said, taking a sip of his drink.</p><p>"What?" Felix asked, looking away from the entrance at the smirking. "He is dating Benji."</p><p>"Guys," Bram warned. "Drop it."</p><p>"I'm just saying," Justin said. "I really felt like I was intruding in your guys' moment."</p><p>"What?! Moment? Victor and I? Sharing a moment?" Felix scoffed. "Only in my head."</p><p>"So you do like him," Ivy gushed, elbowing Felix playfully.</p><p>"I — well it's just — Bram." Felix looked to Bram, pleading for him to do something.</p><p>Bram smiled wide with all his teeth, almost guilty. "I have no control over these three."</p><p>"Simon?"</p><p>He laughed in response. "Yeah... good one."</p><p>"Justin and Ivy don't mean to make you uncomfortable, Felix," Kim said. "These two just have no filter."</p><p>"Hey!"</p><p>"We're just pointing out the obvious," Justin said, putting a hand on Felix's shoulder.</p><p>"I'm so glad that my unrequited love for my best friend is painfully obvious to anyone in a five mile radius," Felix sighed.</p><p>"Oh don't worry Felix," Justin said. "It's painfully obvious on his side too."</p><p>"Justin I <em>swear</em>," Simon mumbled.</p><p>"On his side? What's obvious?" Felix snapped their head around looking between all of them for an answer. "Do you guys know something or —"</p><p>"Guess who's somehow in the clear," Victor exclaimed over the noise, joining the group. "I don't think the school has contacted my parents about the fight so she believed me when I said I was away for basketball camp. I wonder how long that excuse is going to hold. What did I miss?"</p><p>"Nothing," Felix said too quickly, and too loudly. “You missed nothing.”</p><hr/><p>Victor stood against the wall, watching the others dance and chat. He wasn’t much of a dancer himself. The club scene definitely wasn’t his scene. But he loved watching everyone else and he loved seeing a room full of people unafraid to be themselves. His eyes scanned the crowd for Felix, finally finding them talking and laughing with some guy. Immediately a pit the size of a rock planted itself in Victor’s stomach.</p><p>“Hey,” someone said, approaching Victor against the wall.</p><p>Victor tore his eyes away from Felix, looking at the guy in front of him.</p><p>“I’m Chris,” he smiled.</p><p>Victor thought back to the last time here. Apparently giving your name was flirting.</p><p>“I’m sixteen,” he said. “And I have a boyfriend.”</p><p>Chris smiled awkwardly. “Heard,” he said. “But if you’re sixteen, how did you get in here?”</p><p>Victor shrugged, looking back at Felix, the pit growing inside him. “I know people.”</p><p>“Is your boyfriend the one over there?” Chris asked, pointed at Felix. “Because if so, you might want step in before that dude steals him.”</p><p>“What?! No...” Victor said. “That’s my best friend.”</p><p>“Oooh,” he said, as if something finally clicked for him. “Well, good luck with all that buddy.”</p><p>Victor drew his eyebrows together as Chris left, leaving a confused Victor alone.</p><p>“Hey Vic,” Simon said, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay? Did that guy —“</p><p>“No,” Victor said, looking back at Felix. “I mean yes. I’m okay. That guy wasn’t bothering me.”</p><p>“Oh good,” Simon said. “Because unlike you, I can’t even punch one guy.”</p><p>Victor laughed, shaking his head. “Thanks for that.”</p><p>“Felix seems to be having fun,” Simon said after a moment passed between them.</p><p>“Yep...” Victor mumbled. “Looks like they’re having the time of their life....”</p><p>“Are you okay Vic?” Simon asked. “That was rather passive aggressive.”</p><p>“What? No it wasn’t,” Victor said.</p><p>“Yeah it was,” Simon said with a chuckle.</p><p>“Are you implying I’m <em>jealous</em>?” Victor asked.</p><p>Simon put his hands up in surrender. “Those words never left my mouth.”</p><p>“Good,” Victor said. “Because I’m not. Jealous. At all.”</p><p>“Okay Vic.” Simon patted his back, chuckling as he walked off.</p><p>“Simon I’m not!” Victor yelled, chasing after him. “I feel like you don’t believe me!”</p><hr/><p>“Hey, Kim,” Felix said, sitting on the couch next to them. The others were on the roof roasting marshmallows but Felix had been trying to talk to Kim all weekend.</p><p>“Hey Felix,” Kim greeted. “What’s up?”</p><p>“I uh...” Felix fiddled with their hands, avoiding eye contact. “I have a question...”</p><p>Kim smiled, nodding and turning their body to face Felix. “Ask away.”</p><p>“Well I.... so I’ve been made fun of and mocked my whole life,” Felix started. “So... it’s not... new, I guess. The whole mocking and bullying I mean. But ever since I came out... it’s gotten worse.”</p><p>“Before I just had to deal with the whole LoneStone ‘he’s only got one ball’ jokes,” Felix continued. “But now.... they have a whole wide variation of things to call me and ways to mock me.... I guess my question is, how do I keep that shit from getting to me? How do I allow myself to be myself without being afraid of how others will react?”</p><p>“I’m guessing you mean specifically with being non-binary?” Felix nodded. “Well it definitely wasn’t something that I learned over night,” Kim said.</p><p>“But, sadly, you learn to deal with it. You learn to accept yourself and you surround yourself with good, understanding friends, like Victor, eventually the comments just roll off your back for the most part.”</p><p>“I wish I could tell you that people stop being assholes,” they continued. “But sadly that’s not the case.”</p><p>Kim put a hand on Felix’s arm. “But you’re not alone, Felix. And you have a great support system in Victor. Those basketball players, or any other asshole for that matter, do not define your worth and they can’t take you away from being yourself unless you let them.”</p><p>Felix smiled. “Thank you Kim,” they said. “I really needed that.”</p><p>“Anytime,” Kim said. “I know Bram is your ‘gayssiah’ but I’d love to be your... enby-messiah... enbyssiah?”</p><p>“I would love nothing more,” Felix beamed. “The title just needs some work.”</p><p>“Agreed.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey! Little note to say thank you again for the comments and the kudos! We’re hitting the climax. Last chapter was kind of the start of the climax but this chapter is like right at the tip of the climax so... we’re getting really close to the end!!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Felix and Victor arrived back at their apartment complex mid evening on Sunday, exhausted and buzzing from the weekend. As soon as Victor pulled his car into the parking spot, he noticed Benji leaning against his car and knew it wasn't going to be good.</p><p>"I'll meet you up there Felix," Victor said as they got out of the car. Felix nodded, smiling and waving at Benji before jogging inside.</p><p>Victor slowly approached Benji. "Your mom told me you were away at basketball camp," Benji said. "I guess she doesn't realize it's not basketball season."</p><p>"We just went to visit Simon and Bram," Victor said, already knowing where this conversation was heading.</p><p>"You and Felix?" Benji asked. "<em>You</em> went to New York City with <em>Felix</em>?"</p><p>"They needed to get away," Victor said. "Felix needed this trip."</p><p>"And you had to be the one to bring him," Benji stated.</p><p>"Benji..."</p><p>"Look, I'm not mad," Benji said. "I just want the truth —"</p><p>"I've been giving you nothing but the the truth," Victor said exasperatedly. "There has never been anything going on between Felix and I."</p><p>"I believe you, Victor," Benji said, grabbing his hands.</p><p>"Then why do we keep having this conversation?"</p><p>"Because you <em>love</em> Felix," Benji said. "I know that there is nothing going on between you and Felix — I trust you. But you both love each other."</p><p>"He’s my best friend —"</p><p>"More than that," Benji said, keeping his calm. “You love Felix the way I love you, Victor.”</p><p>“Benji, I love you,” Victor said.</p><p>“I can’t make you realize it, Victor,” Benji said. “And I know that you love me. But you love him more. You love Felix far more deeply than you love me.... and... that hurts but I get it.”</p><p>“Benji....”</p><p>Victor was finding it harder to argue with Benji, finding it harder to argue with himself.</p><p>“Tell me I’m wrong,” Benji said. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you’re not in love with Felix.”</p><p>“I..... that doesn’t.... I’m <em>choosing</em> to be with you, Benji,” Victor said, tears spilling freely from his eyes. “I’m not going to leave you.”</p><p>Benji was crying too. He wiped a tear from his own cheek, nodding. “I know you would never leave me. That’s why I’m leaving you.”</p><p>“Benji please.” Victor held tightly onto Benji’s hands, stopping him from walking to the driver side of the car. “Please don’t do this.”</p><p>“Victor.... we deserve more. I deserve more,” Benji whispered out. “You don’t see it now, but you’re settling for me.”</p><p>“No! Benji that’s crazy —“</p><p>“I think we both need some time,” Benji said. Walking to the driver side and getting in he added, “I think this will be good for both of us.”</p><p>Victor followed, holding the car door open. “How can you possibly know what’s good for me Benji? How I’m feeling? I don’t even know how I’m feeling!”</p><p>“That’s the problem, Victor,” Benji said, wiping his cheeks with the back of his hand. He shut the door, driving off as Victor backed away, watching him drive off; watching his first love drive right out of his life.</p><hr/><p>“I thought for sure Benji would wish you off an —“ Felix stopped once he noticed Victor crying and puffy eyed — like he was months ago when he first came out. “Are you okay?”</p><p>“He broke up with me...” Victor mumbled out.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Benji.... he dumped me,” Victor whispered out, stepping further into Felix’s apartment.</p><p>“I don’t understand... why would he do that?” Felix asked, grabbing Victor’s hands. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Victor looked at their hands, noticing the way his heart picked up at their touch. Had he always reacted this way when Felix touched him? He couldn’t recall. He took his hands out of Felix’s hold, sticking them in his pockets.</p><p>“Uh.... he thinks we just... aren’t working out,” Victor lied, glancing at the ground.</p><p>Was he keeping the truth from Felix because he didn’t want Felix feeling guilty, or because Benji’s claims held some truth to them? Was he in love with Felix?</p><p>“That’s absurd,” Felix said. “You guys are like the perfect couple. Right?”</p><p>Victor shrugged. “We’ve... kind of been arguing a lot lately,” he mumbled. “I guess I should have seen it coming....”</p><p>“You never told me you guys were arguing,” Felix said.</p><p>Victor shrugged. “It never felt like something that needed to be brought up. We always worked through it.... at least I thought we did.”</p><p>“Hey,” Felix said softly, putting their hand on Victors arm. “You deserve better anyway.”</p><p>Victor shrugged, slowly looking Felix up, stopping at his eyes. “It’s okay.. I don’t think his accusations were that far off...”</p><p>“What are you talking about, Victor?” Felix asked.</p><p>“You’re eyes really are a... nice shade of brown,” Victor commented, stepping closer to Felix.</p><p>“Victor what are you—“</p><p>Before Victor thought through his actions, he closed the space between them, pressing his lips against Felix’s. The kiss didn’t last long, just long enough for Victor to know it felt more right than anything he ever experienced but to also realize it was the worst thing for him to do. He pushed himself away from Felix, standing back with wide eyes. He examined Felix’s expression, which was blank and full of shock for the most part.</p><p>“I.... I’m sorry,” Victor said. “That... I didn’t — I’m going to go home now.”</p><p>Victor turned, leaving the apartment.</p><p>“Wait, Vic —“</p><p>He was already down the stairs, rushing into his own apartment and into his room, ignoring his mothers attempt at a hello. Victor shut his door, pacing around his room as his heart pounded against his chest and eardrums.</p><p>God why did he keep doing shit like this? Did he just enjoy making his own life complicated and excruciating? Why did he do that? What made him do something so stupid?</p><p>Victor let out a distressed groan, throwing things off of his desk and to the ground. He collapsed onto his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Felix just above him. What was going on through their mind? Did Victor just screw up the best thing in his life? He groaned again, hugging his pillow close to his chest and curling into a ball.</p><p>“I’m in love with Felix....” he mumbled to himself. “I screwed everything up...”</p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Two chapters in one day?!? I’m on a roll today!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Felix finished pacing in front of the Salazar's apartment door, taking a deep breath before knocking.</p><p>Mrs. Salazar opened the door, smiling at Felix. "Hi Felix," she said. "I thought you'd have gone with Victor already."</p><p>"He left already?" Felix asked, deflating at the prospect of Victor leaving earlier than usual — without them.</p><p>Mrs. Salazar nodded. "About fifteen minutes ago."</p><p>Felix chewed on their bottom lip, nodding. "Well thanks anyway Mrs. Salazar."</p><p>She smiled as Felix turned to leave, feeling dejected and a little humiliated. Why did Victor kiss 'em if he was just going to blow 'em off? Did that kiss mean anything to Victor? Or was he just sad and lonely?</p><p>Felix grazed their fingers over their lips, closing their eyes and recalling the feeling of Victor's kiss. Felix wished they had kissed back. It happened so fast and Felix wasn't expecting anything like that to happen anytime soon, or at all for that matter.</p><p>"Hey Felix!" Pilar called, snapping Felix out of their daydream. "Wait up!"</p><p>Felix quickly dropped their hand down to their side, facing Pilar. "Can I get a ride?"</p><p>"Uh... okay," Felix said, continuing to walk.</p><p>"What happened with Victor?" Pilar asked, walking next to Felix.</p><p>"What?!" Felix asked. "Nothing — why? What do you know?"</p><p>"Nothing," Pilar said, eyeing her friend suspiciously. "That's why I'm <em>asking</em>. He came home last night and didn't say anything to anyone. Just locked himself in his room."</p><p>"Well Benji broke up with him," Felix said as they arrived to Felix’s car.</p><p>"What?!" Pilar asked. "Why?!"</p><p>Felix shrugged half-heartedly. "He said they have been arguing lately and Benji didn't think they were working out...."</p><p>The two of them slipped into the car, continuing the conversation (much to Felix's displeasure). "I never saw them argue."</p><p>"Well people tend to hide unpleasant things," Felix said.</p><p>"No," Pilar said. "Something else happened.... to you and Victor."</p><p>"What? Why would you think that?" Felix gave an awkward chuckle, pulling out of his parking space. "Nothing... nothing happened to us. Th-that-that's crazy..."</p><p>"Why would Victor leave without you?" Pilar asked. "You guys are painfully and annoyingly inseparable."</p><p>Felix sighed, drumming their finger on the steering wheel in an anxious beat. They glanced at Pilar from the corner of their eye. "Hekissedme," Felix quickly whispered.</p><p>Pilar paused, then laughed. "Sorry, it sounded like you said ‘he kissed you’."</p><p>Felix chewed on the bottom of their lip, glancing from Pilar to the road.</p><p>"Oh... you look serious," Pilar said. "Are you serious?"</p><p>Felix nodded. "And I tried to call him last night, to talk about it, but he wouldn't pick up and now.... I'm afraid he won't ever talk to me...."</p><p>"You are like, his favorite person on this planet," Pilar said. "Next to Adrian. He won't be able to ignore you for long."</p><p>"Do you think he... do you think he meant to kiss me?"</p><p>"Who accidentally kisses someone, Felix," Pilar said.</p><p>"Well... there's a lot of reason someone kisses someone," Felix said. "Does he have feelings for me? Was he lonely and sad and I was the closest male looking person? I mean there's no telling but I think him running away and ignoring me says it all."</p><p>"What it says is that my brother is a coward," Pilar said as they pulled into the school parking lot. "Force him to talk to you Felix."</p><p>Pilar unbuckled while Felix turned off the car. "Maybe we can find him before class," she said. "You coming?"</p><p>"No," Felix said. "I'll find him later. I'm going to call someone."</p><hr/><p>Bram let out a puff of air, watching his pencil flop around almost like rubber as he wiggled it in front of his face. There was nothing less exciting that a statistic class. He was an English major, what did he need statistics for? </p><p>His phone began to vibrate on his lap, startling him and causing him to drop his pencil on the head of the person below him. He smiled widely and guiltily, whispering his apology and grabbing the pencil as they handed it back to him.</p><p>Sitting up straight, Bram looked at his phone, Felix’s name popping up in big letters. It was moments like this where Bram was grateful for sitting in the back and closest to the exit. Eyeing the professor, he assured her back was facing the board and then he slipped out, answering the call.</p><p>“Hey Felix,” Bram said. “What’s up?”</p><p>“Hey,” Felix said from the other line. “I’m not interrupting am I?”</p><p>“Nah,” Bram said. “I wasn’t paying attention anyway. What’s up.”</p><p>“Well.... something happened last night,” Felix said. Bram could tell they were nervous. “I bet you already heard from Simon but I’m not sure what Victor told him so I’ll just tell you the whole thing.”</p><p>“So... when we got back, Benji broke up with Victor,” Felix started. Bram held in his gasp. “And then he came to my apartment and he... well he kissed me.”</p><p>“Holy fuck!” Bram exclaimed. “Then what? What did you do? What’d he do?”</p><p>“Well.... he sort of... ran away,” Felix mumbled.</p><p>“He ran away?!” Bram scoffed. “What a coward.”</p><p>“Hey, hey,” Felix said. “I didn’t call you to diss on Victor.”</p><p>“I call it like I see it,” Bram said. “I’m assuming you haven’t spoken to him yet?”</p><p>“No,” Felix mumbled after some time. “I just thought you might have... insight...”</p><p>“By ‘insight’ you mean inside information from Simon,” Bram said with a chuckle. “Right?”</p><p>“Maybe....”</p><p>“Look it’s always better to just talk to each other rather through a game of telephone with two college students in New York,” Bram said. “So I encourage to make Victor talk to you.”</p><p>“But,” Bram added. “I’ll see what Simon knows. He hasn’t said anything to me but I’ll ask.”</p><p>“Thank you!”</p><p>“Yeah yeah,” Bram said, smiling. “Get to class.”</p><p>“Right back at ya,” Felix said.</p><hr/><p>“I thought we could eat on campus today,” Simon said, patting the spot next to him on the blanket. “It’s a nice day today anyway.”</p><p>Bram smiled brightly, sitting next to Simon and giving him a quick kiss before settling down.</p><p>“I got a call from Felix today,” Bram said. “Have you heard from Victor recently?”</p><p>“Now that you mention it, no,” Simon said, looking at his phone. “Not since they landed.”</p><p>“He didn’t tell you Benji broke up with him last night?” Bram asked.</p><p>“What?!” Simon asked. “No... why wouldn’t he tell me something like that? Victor tells me everything!”</p><p>“So I’m assuming you know nothing about the kiss,” Bram teased, smirking at his boyfriend.</p><p>“What kiss?” Simon asked. “There was a kiss? Between <em>who</em>?”</p><p>“You’ll never believe it,” Bram said. “But <em>Victor</em> kissed <em>Felix</em>.”</p><p>“Shut up!” Simon exclaimed. “I never expected him to act so quickly!”</p><p>Bram shrugged coolly. “I never expected him to act <em>at all</em>. But the point is, now Victor is being a dumb ass and isn’t talking to Felix so Felix wanted me to see if you heard anything from Victor. But clearly my gaysciple trusts me more so...”</p><p>“Oh is that how it is?” Simon asked, playfully appalled. He chucked a grape at his chuckling boyfriend.</p><p>“Do you ever think we’re too invested in these two sixteen-year-olds’ lives?” Bram asked.</p><p>“Sometimes,” Simon said. “But then I remember I didn’t come out until I was 18 so this makes up for all those years I was stuck in the closet, unable to get into drama like this.”</p><p>“I think the drama you experienced senior year alone makes up for that,” Bram said, chuckling fondly.</p><p>“That’s.... fair.”</p><p>Bram laughed, nodding his head and kissing Simon’s forehead.</p><p>“We’re pretty good at it though...” Bram said.</p><p>“Getting invested in teenagers lives?” Simon said. “That’s a weird pastime... even for us.”</p><p>Bram chuckled again. “Giving advice... being.... dads, almost...”</p><p>“Oh... yeah,” Simon said, smiling. “We’ll make pretty good dads.”</p><p>“One day, of course,” Bram added.</p><p>“Yeah... one day,” Simon said softly, smiling fondly at his boyfriend.</p><hr/><p>“You’re not in trouble Victor,” Ms. Albright said, sitting against her desk in front of Victor. “I have no room for bullies in this school. Those two deserved a good punch to the jaw.”</p><p>“You’re... you’re not going to expel me or anything?” Victor asked.</p><p>“I probably should,” she said. “It’s probably stated somewhere in the principal handbook that I should but... no. You’re a good kid Victor so... I’m letting you off with a warning.”</p><p>“Oh, thanks... and my parents?” Victor asked.</p><p>“I’m going to have to call them,” Ms. Albright said, giving Victor a sympathetic smile. “You’re lucky I was able to get those kids not to tell their parents.”</p><p>Victor nodded, leaving the office as she excused him. His heart leapt against his chest as he caught sight of Felix sitting in the waiting room. They stood to their feet at they noticed Victor, who was trying to get out without Felix noticing.</p><p>“Victor, hey I-I wanted to talk,” Felix said, following close behind Victor.</p><p>“I.. I can’t,” Victor said. “I’ve gotta go.”</p><p>“Can you just — <em>hey</em>.” Felix grabbed Victor’s arm, turning him to face themself. “Can we just.... forget last night happened?”</p><p>Something in Victor sank at that question. He had been avoiding Felix all day and wasn’t too sure what he was more afraid of — Felix enjoying the kiss or wanting to ignore the kiss. But once Felix said they wanted to forget it, he knew that was the opposite of what he wanted to hear. He shrugged his arm out of Felix’s grip.</p><p>“Forget... forget about it?” Victor asked, searching Felix face for any kind of sign that would tell him they felt the same. “You want to forget about it?”</p><p>“Well... yeah,” Felix said. “That’s what <em>we</em> want right?”</p><p>“I.... yeah,” Victor breathed out. “Yeah of course. It-it was an accident. It’s... it’s best if we forget all about it.”</p><p>“Eh-Exactly,” Felix said, smiling.</p><p>God why were they smiling? Victor wanted to do anything but smile. He wanted to run and hide and cry for a thousand different reasons.<span class="Apple-converted-space"> Seeing Felix smile made him sink.</span></p><p>“Cool,” he breathed out, forcing a thin lipped smile. “Consider it forgotten...”</p><p>“So we’re good?” Felix asked.</p><p>Victor nodded, but it was a lie. He, at least, was anything but good. “We’re great. I should go though... I’ve got work.”</p><p>“Right,” Felix said. “See you after work?”</p><p>“Maybe,” Victor said. “I’ve got.... a family thing.”</p><p>“Oh... well we could ride to school tomorrow? Pick up coffee on our way?” Felix asked, nearly desperate for a yes.</p><p>“Uhm... I don’t know,” Victor said, backing away from Felix. “I’ll just... see you around.”</p><p>“Oh... yeah,” Felix said. “See you around then...” </p><p>mad Victor turned and left the school campus, his phone vibrated in his back pocket. He sighed seeing Simon’s name pop up. Victor couldn’t bring himself to confess his feelings out load or discuss the breakup. It was all too much. He hit the decline button, walking to his car. </p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello hello!!! Bet you thought I forgot about this little fic, Nope!! I just spent the last couple days reading all the books in the Simon-verse and let me just say: Simon and Bram actually invented love and there will most DEF be a Simon and Bram center fanfic in the future. Mayyybeeee Love Victor but what Simon and Bram are up to and the messages from Simon’s pov? Idek I’m feeling a lot of things about them they’re the purest couple in history. Also, this is the second to last chapter of this fanfic!!! I know it doesn’t seem like it but we’re right at the end. Also also, Simon’s sister is only two years younger than him in the book and that’s what I’m going off of, Incase y’all are confused by the appearance of a certain Spier</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Si 🙌🏼</p>
  <p><strong>Mon, Aug 24,</strong> 12:42 pm</p>
  <p>Hey</p>
  <p>Everything good?</p>
  <p>Bram talked to Felix... if you need someone to talk you know I'm here for you right?</p>
  <p>Ofc you know that, duh</p>
  <p><strong>Tues, Aug 25,</strong> 6:12 am</p>
  <p>Hey... again</p>
  <p>Just checking in on you</p>
  <p><strong>Fri, Aug 28,</strong> 9:53 pm</p>
  <p>I'm starting to feel like a clingy parent lol</p>
  <p>Checking in again... hoping maybe you've talked to someone?</p>
  <p>Felix says he hasn't seen you all week</p>
  <p>It doesn't have to be me.</p>
  <p><strong>Wed, Oct 3,</strong> 2:50 am</p>
  <p>So... it's been almost two weeks since anyone has heard from you Victor.</p>
  <p>Are you okay? Like seriously? I'm worried.</p>
  <p><strong>Today 12:32</strong> pm</p>
  <p>Ig you really don't want to talk to anyone huh</p>
  <p>Well I'll just leave you with this victor: you can't push the people you care about away. It never works, trust me.</p>
  <p>Just... talk to /someone/.... please.</p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Victor sighed, staring at most recent text from Simon. He began typing, but deleted every response mid sentence. Letting out a groan, Victor tossed his phone to the side, sliding against the wall.</p><p>He was hiding in an empty hallway close to the basement, like he had been for the past two weeks. He knew it was stupid, and he knew Felix was hurting because of him. But he needed space, he needed to clear his head and he needed to not be in love with Felix.</p><p>"You are one difficult person to find," said Mia, joining Victor.</p><p>"The trick is changing where you hide every other day," Victor said, tucking one of his legs up to his chest.</p><p>"Is is now?" Mia asked, sitting across from Victor. "Well... we all miss you. Felix misses you."</p><p>Victor began twirling his shoelace, avoiding eye contact with Mia. He missed Felix too.</p><p>"You don't get it Mia," Victor mumbled.</p><p>"I do get it Victor," she said. "Because Lake and I experienced this same thing over the summer."</p><p>"Really?!"</p><p>"Well... not exactly because... Lake and I aren't stupid and we talked things out sooner rather than later," Mia said. "But I get how you're feeling. You're afraid Felix doesn't feel the same way and that you 'need space' to stop your feelings."</p><p>Victor stared at Mia, mouth slightly agape. Mia chuckled. "I'd say I'm exactly right by that expression. But the thing is Victor, the feelings will never go away. You're just making everything worse by pushing Felix away."</p><p>"I'm glad it worked out for you and Lake," Victor said. "But Felix doesn't love me back."</p><p>"Have you asked them?" Mia asked. "Did you tell Felix how you feel and they turned you down?"</p><p>"Well.... no," Victor said. "Not in so many words."</p><p>Mia gave Victor an irritated side glance. "Talk the them, Victor. You'll be surprised by their reaction."</p><p>"What's that suppose to mean?" Victor asked.</p><p>"Nothing," Mia sighed. "Listen, we're all planning on going to homecoming together, I'll text you the details but we'd all really love it if you'd join us."</p><p>"I'll think about it," Victor said, causing Mia to sigh again before leaving him alone again.</p><p>Victor let out a sigh himself, running a hand through his hair as the hallway began to flood with students. He stood to his feet and threw his backpack over his shoulder, debating whether or not he should even go to the dance. He wasn't planning on it. The spring fling was filled with enough drama to last a life time.</p><p>He watched the crowd of kids disperse, watched people meet up with their friends and significant others and there was that pinch in his stomach again. It hadn't seemed to go away for the last two weeks. And he knew exactly why it was there.</p><p>Victor didn't head to class. Instead he slipped into the emptying bathroom, his finger hovering over the call button under Simon's name. He took a deep breath, clicking call and pressing his phone close to his ear, hoping that Simon would pick up while also hoping he wouldn't.</p><p>Just when he was sure he was being sent to voicemail, the ringing stopped and there was a pause on either end. "Victor hey! I wasn't expecting you to call.."</p><p>"Yeah," Victor mumbled, clutching his eyes shut. This was a mistake. "I'm... I'm sorry."</p><p>"Come one Victor I'm twenty years old," Simon said. Victor could tell he was playing cool. "I can handle being ignored by a sixteen year old."</p><p>"Right," Victor said. He probably would have laughed had he not been in such a horrible mood. He seemed to be stuck in this constant horrible mood — ever since Benji dumped him.</p><p>"So... are you okay?" Simon asked.</p><p>Victor shrugged, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "I fucked up... like... big time, Simon."</p><p>"And... everything is falling apart and it's all my fault and —" he sucked in a deep, shaky breath, fighting off the tears that threatened to consume him. "I don't know what to do...."</p><p>"Okay, it's going to be okay, first off," Simon said. "But how about you just take a deep breath and start at the beginning?"</p><p>So Victor did as Simon said, first taking a deep breath (or a few deep breaths rather) and then leading into everything that happened. He still got choked up talking about the breakup, despite being mostly over it, but it wasn't until he told Simon about the kiss with Felix and the conversation they had the next day that he actually began to cry again.</p><p>"Okay..." Simon carefully said. "So when Felix told you to forget about the kiss... why’d that make you shut down?”</p><p>“I... I don’t want to forget about the kiss Simon,” Victor said. “I <em>can’t</em> forget about the kiss.”</p><p>“Right... but you think Felix wants to forget about it,” Simon reiterated. “Did you ever consider.... maybe he just... maybe he thought that you <em>did</em> want to forget about it.... and that’s why he suggested you forget about it.”</p><p>Victor continued to chew on the inside of his cheek, his mind trying to process Simon’s statement. “You think... do you think that could be it?”</p><p>“You never know unless you talk to him,” Simon said. “But Victor, even if Felix doesn’t feel the same way about you, which I’m pretty sure they do, are you really willing to throw away a friendship as great as yours and Felix’s? Because I can assure you, the worst thing that will happen from telling Felix how you really feel is that they will say no. You won’t loose Felix as a friend unless you push them out because Felix isn’t going to leave you for anything.”</p><p>Victor let out a softer sigh as the bell rang. He had missed an entire class — which means Simon probably missed an entire class. “I’m sorry... for ignoring you and for making you ditch class...”</p><p>“Hey, no, don’t apologize,” Simon said. “I mean... do apologize for the ignoring thing because that was mean.”</p><p>Victor chuckled this time. It was something in Simon’s tone, he could hear his teasing smile through the phone while also hearing the sincerity. It warmed Victors heart to think this 20-year-old with a big New York style life would care about talking to a random 16-year-old from Texas. </p><p>“But the missing class part,” Simon continued. “It’s not that big of a deal.”</p><p>“Thank you Si,” Victor said. “I should have contacted you way before now.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Simon said. “You most definitely should have. And make sure you let Bram know I helped you and gave you <em>good</em> advice.”</p><p>Victor laughed again, scooting to the side as someone came up to the sink to wash their hands. “If it makes up for ignoring you for two weeks I’ll tell him you solved world hunger.”</p><p>“You are a saint Victor Salazar,” Simon said. “A fantastic gay saint.”</p><hr/><p>Victor sprinted to Felix’s locker after the last class of the day, hoping to find them there, and hoping they weren’t extremely pissed at him.</p><p>He stopped short, right before approaching his friend. Felix was laughing at something some girl said to them. God Felix was beautiful. Like breathtakingly beautiful. And they looked so much more comfortable with themself now than when Victor first met them last year. He couldn’t believe it had only been a year since they’ve known each other. Victor felt like he had known Felix all his life.</p><p>Victor took a deep breath, shaking his hands as if that would shake off the jitters. Then he made his way to Felix before he could chicken out. As soon as Felix noticed him, their smile kind of melted away, which broke Victors heart. He wanted to be the reason for the smile, not the frown.</p><p>Mustering up a small smile, Victor glanced at the girl. She looked familiar, though he couldn’t quite place why. He had definitely never seen her around before.</p><p>“Hey Felix,” he said. “Can we talk?”</p><p>Felix pressed their lips together but nodded, turning to the girl. “I’ll see you tomorrow Nora.” </p><p>She smiled, glancing at Victor before saying goodbye to Felix. “Simon’s sister,” Felix said, as if reading Victor’s mind. “She’s a senior. Do you want to talk here or..?”</p><p>“Oh... here is fine,” Victor said, stuffing his hands in his pockets while Felix shut his locker, turning to face Victor. “I... I’m sorry. I’ve been acting like... a real jerk... and I want to explain to you why but... not here and I have work in fifteen minutes so... are you free after nine?”</p><p>“I... I’m not actually,” Felix said and Victor can tell that they regret relaying that information. “I have work until 10 and then my mom wanted to have a late dinner thing.”</p><p>“Oh... how about before Homecoming tomorrow?” Victor asked hopefully. Maybe he could ask Felix to go with him... “I bought my ticket today... Mia said I could come with you guys... if you’re okay with that...”</p><p>“Of course I’m okay with that Victor,” Felix said, smiling. “We’re still friends after all.”</p><p>Victor wasn’t sure whether to be grateful for that comment or not. That meant Felix was willing to hear his apology and get back to how they were before but it also meant he wasn’t too broken up about the whole situation, right? Victor wasn’t sure what anything meant anymore.</p><p>“I’ll text you about meeting before the dance,” Felix said. “I have to run a few errands before we meet at Lakes for photos at 4:30. We could ride to her place together?”</p><p>“Y-yeah. Yeah that’s perfect,” Victor said, bobbing his head in short, fast motions.</p><p>Felix smiled. “Okay,” they said. “I’ll see you then.”</p><p>Felix began walking away, but stopped short just a few steps away from Victor. “Oh... and I want to let you know... I’m... I’m kind of going with somebody... so maybe we can talk at the dance?”</p><p>Victor’s stomach sank deep inside him. At those few words, he felt this weight drop down against his chest, pinning him under its unbearable strength. He slowly turned to face Felix, hoping the heart break wasn’t written all over his stupidly expressive face.</p><p>“You... you’re going with somebody..?” He asked. “Like... like a date?”</p><p>Felix chewed on his bottom lip, shrugging animatedly. “I mean like... kind of but... no. Not really... it’s complicated and I can’t say too much....”</p><p>“Oh...”</p><p>“Yeah,” Felix said. “I just.. thought I’d give you a heads up.”</p><p>Victor, now slightly more composed, gave a tight shrug. “Why would you need to give me a heads up? That... that’s cool.”</p><p>“Yeah? You... you think so?” Felix asked, eyeing Victor like he was searching for something specific.</p><p>“Mmhm,” was all Victor could get out.</p><p>“Okay... well, we’ll both see you tomorrow,” Felix said. “Say 4?”</p><p>“See you at 3:45,” Victor said, his voice tight and wistful. God he should have talked to Felix weeks ago. Of course they got a date! It’s the day before freaking Homecoming.</p><p>Felix smiled at that, giving a quick goodbye before finally leaving.</p><p>Victor groaned, looking at the $70 homecoming ticket in his hand. “Fuck me...”</p>
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